BREAKING NEWS: ICANN announcement about intelligent life

ICANN - To boldly go where no domainer has gone before.

In a dramatic announcement that made CNN news, ICANN’s long-awaited research report about the existence of intelligent life in domaining contains some astounding results.

ICANN’s ability to locate intelligent research members that manned its facility has been the Achilles tendon of the organization. Long considered to be the last standing outpost between government and domain users, ICANN made some poor researcher selections in the past.

The entire report consists of 250 pages, most of which are references to the ICANN meetings at various exotic resorts around the world, to establish observation posts.

Jack-Mattise Garoll, general secretary of the ICANN domain research team mentioned that:

” … domainers are little elusive creatures that although they consist of carbon molecules and consume oxygen, they are not intelligent enough to determine their own fate with regards to serious domain decisions and thus require the guidance of ICANN.”

The report makes some other interesting points about intelligent life in domaining:

  • Domainers are unaware of the ICANN policies and afterhours parties, often treating them as separate galaxies
  • Domainers move en masse around major celestial bodies, such as Rick S Centauri or Frank S Proximus
  • Most domainers cannot learn the difference between a good or a bad domain, thus often re-registering the same pigeon crud
  • Domainers often fail to distinguish between good and bad sources of information, often believing that Google’s acquisition of Groupon for a few billion dollars somehow affects the value of their pitiful domain portfolios.

The ICANN report about intelligent life in the domaining universe fails to give credit to George Kirikos – a bright Canadian researcher and expert in locating domainer life.

Copyright © 2024 DomainGang.com · All Rights Reserved.