Domain predictions: It will be a disastrous year – says professional

Domains and the future.

Domains and the future.

If you thought that 2013 was an absolute disaster for the domain industry, wait until you hear what will happen in 2014.

Lola Paesio, a famous, professional astrologer and oracle used by many CEOs and start-up founders, has a few things to share about domain names.

“I laugh when I hear from people that the domain future cannot be predicted, it’s so dumb.” says Lola Paesio from her office in San Diego.

“Most of the time, the future looks bad, but I’m really good at predicting the worst of the worst, and domainers need to brace for the absolute worsest!” exclaims Lola Paesio, consulting her astrological charts.

Some of Lola Paesio’s predictions for the domain industry might be shocking to some, particularly those that have been following the debate of Team Schilling vs. Team Schwartz very closely.

Here are some outlines of Lola Paesio’s predictions for the domain industry’s future:

  • Most .com domains will be deleted after a fungus turns domainers’ brains into sponge-like mush.
  • The onslaught of gTLDs will bring peace and happiness around the world, until an asteroid hits Google.
  • Domain blogs that simply copy/paste press releases will be punished by Google’s new algorithm, codenamed Weasel 2.0.
  • In 2014, unless you have your own .tattoo or .sexy domain no-one will be hiring you.
  • Very few domain investors will survive the cold winter of 2013/2014 caused by Registry price hikes of 24 cents.
  • ICANN is slated to become a billion dollar company, then form its own church (Internet Church of Anointed New Nazareth) in order to maintain its cash reserves tax free.
  • Facebook will be the only place to discuss domains, after a joint venture with Rick Schwartz enforces removal of all pigeonshit domains and duck selfies.
  • Money will be banned; all transactions will use the Bitcoin – a domain registration will be 0.50 BC or about $375 dollars.
  • Other small or large changes in how the human race will survive.

These predictions by Lola Paesio about the domain industry must be taken very seriously, as they are considered to be more sincere than the typical mumbo-jumbo that most domain investors speak these days.

 

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