Father Domanicus – Our channel to the Domain Lord.
Greetings and salutations, all ye faithful domainers. This is Father Domainicus, delivering the final eulogy of 2012.
Many of you probably recall the fine opportunities presented upon us by GoDaddy.
I applaud the departure of this fine specimen of entrepreneurial manifest, from the usual depictions of fleshy, carnal imagery.
In other words, GoDaddy no longer displays female mammaries on its homepage, and this is great news.
The recent offering of a coupon, redeemable at the Parish of Groupon of which I am also a member, shows us that Bob Parsons has departed from being an arrogant, cold-hearted elephant killer, and has become a benefactor of the poor and the helpless among domainers.
And this is precisely how one should lead their personal and professional life: by donating a sizable portion of their income to those in need, just like GoDaddy did. While many of you are still struggling with your uphill battle – ascending the fiscal cliff – there is hope and jubilation ahead; past the fear and loathing of this very bad economy.
Some greedy individuals, whom I don’t believe that they deserve even to be despised, clearly abused this generosity of Bob Parsons and his evangelical reach through the Parish of Groupon. By abusing the offerings, my brothers and sisters in domaining, you display an uncouth diversion from the righteous path that our Domain Lord has spoken about, and I quote:
“Woe to you O earth and sea, for the Devil sends the Beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short. Let him who hath understanding reckon the Number of the Beast, for it is a human number. Its number is six-hundred and sixty-six.”
In this parable from the apocalyptic writings of John the Apostle, it is evident that our Domain Lord desires that we use mathematics, infographics and other data-mining techniques to determine the value of our domain investment. By assigning it a very large and symbolic number, we are showing the importance of science in our daily life; for it is the scientists that behold the truth that the faith ascribes.
And with this rather deep and cryptic, I must admit, phrase, I bid thee farewell – until the calendar changes and the year of our Domain Lord, 2013, rests more wisdom and grey hair onto your shoulders.
Love, prosperity and scientific providence!
~Father Domainicus.
