The Queen honors British Domainer during Olympic speech
The XXX Olympiad is officially on, after an epic opening ceremony that lasted five hours.
During the launch extravaganza, the British demonstrated their approximately 1,000 year long history, which began with Robin Hood stealing from the rich to feed the poor.
Roughly 800 years later, Lord Elgin demonstrated the opposite, by stealing the marbles of Parthenon from the poor Greeks and selling them to the rich aristocracy of Britannia.
The evil deeds of Lord Elgin were undone 25 years later, when British poet Lord Byron died for Greece, fighting against the Ottoman Turks.
Her Royal Majesty the Queen kickstarted the London Olympic games, with a monumental speech that lasted for the better part of 15 seconds, much shorter than her speech at the gathering of Olympic Heads reception.
“Let the XXX Olympiad begin”, said Queen Elizabeth, who donned a lovely outfit with a pink hat, before sitting back down on her special seat among thousands of spectators. She is 86 years old, after all.
In all truth, this will be a splendid Olympiad and we cannot wait to watch many hours of it on television.
Oh, and about the ‘British Domainer‘ part, we completely made that up. It’s part of the reason why Shane complains about Owen’s headlines.