Editorial – Domainer Passover : Give us Barabbas! Give us Barabbas!

Directnic

Jesus Francus Schillingus

A group of rowdy domainers gathered outside the house of Icannius Pilate, armed with pitchforks and torches.

With covered faces, despite the ample darkness provided by the veil of night, they chanted angry words against the domain messiah, Jesus Francus Schillingus.

“Down with Schillingus and evil Uniregistrum! Down with the gTLDs!”

Icannius Pilate looked wryly outside his window, then paced a few times along the poorly lit room.

“Those dirty peasants are never happy, no matter what,” he mumbled. “I have to give them something for Passover or they’ll lynch my multi-steakholder plans to expand Rome,” he sighed.

Calling out the guards, Icannius Pilate ordered them to bring him Jesus Francus Schillingus and Barabbas, a murderer and thief.

Soon after, shackled and beat up, the two men entered the governor’s estate.

Icannius Pilate took a good look at them, then asked Jesus Francus Schillingus:

“Is it true, what they say, that you are the son of god, and able to create new gTLDs from mere salt and water?”

Jesus Francus Schillingus raised his head, and simply said:

“You say that I am.”

Icannius Pilate looked at Jesus Francus Schillingus for a while, processing his words, then he spoke softly thus:

“If you renounce the gTLDs, and dissolve your Uniregistrum group of apostles, I promise to set you free. Are we in agreement?

Outside, the chants of the rowdy mob of domainers were getting louder: “Give us Barabbas! Give us Barabbas!”

Jesus Francus Schillingus turned his head towards the window and uttered:

“So be it. Forgive them, Domain Father, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Downstairs, the mob had started smashing the doors of Icannius Pilate’s residence, kicking down the decorative pillars with flowers and threatening to burn the house down.

Faced with this life and death situation, despite despising the ugly mob of domainer protesters, he addressed the crowds thus:

“People! It has been decided! Barabbas shall be freed, and Jesus Francus Schillingus will be crucified on Friday noon, at Golgotha.com!”

Erupting with joy, the crowds retreated, taking with them the threats and the vile stench of burning lard fueling their torches.

Icannius Pilate looked at Jesus Francus Schillingus, and placing his hand on the messiah’s shoulder, he said:

“Do not worry. I know you are the son of god, an immortal. Those scumbags won’t know what hit them once you return from the dead, three days later.”

Jesus Francus Schillingus followed the guards on the way to the gaol.

As he was about to take the stairs down, he turned around and told Icannius Pilate these words:

“Never run from your problems. Embrace them, and they will ultimately set you free.”

And with these words, he exited, leaving Icannius Pilate pondering about the secret wisdom that these beautiful words delivered.


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