Advice from Kanye West: Beyonce – Most successful domainer of all time – Part 1 of 1
Let me start it all out by saying that Beyonce is my sweetheart. She busted out her tight dress when I called her name at the MTV Awards, God bless her! I mean, girlfriend, she might be “phat” but I got all that, and more. Check dis out, I had nothing to do with the Swift incident, ya hear me?
In the past years, and she is no spring chicken but she like KFC – dat booty didn’t grow without some TLC – I had the chance to meet with an learn from da best domainer sistas in da bees-knees. So it don’t matter, that I am so damn popular in my own head; I had to holler to my many b*tches and pimps, to drop at my crib and deliva some wizdom. Like bling, it shines in the darkness of domaining.
So I axed them, n*ggas, come tell uncle Kanye WTF to do with domains. To my amazement, I gots 5 or so responses. Lazy n*ggas don’t write me back, so I had to come up with some names and do the deed of celebrity name dropping, once more. Phuck.
I love to tell you that I am a developa and I use the WordPress push buttons like a mofo. Word! So, I’mma let you finish, but Beyonce got the best domains of all time. Of all time!
Frank “Coolio” Chillin, Name Admiral Inc.
I rememba being in Canada and the weather sucked, so I moved to the Central America or something like that. It’s all good, my man. I ain’t got no braids but I got the traffic and it’s not from cars, can you dig it? End of story, back at ya Kanye.
Marilyn “Wiz” Coffeeman, True Tragic
I spend small bills to make large bills. Domains are like bills. I like bills.
Montana “Tan” Ikan, Mount Her LLC
Who are you? I don’t remember you as my friend. Want a statement? Come register some domains first at “Mount Her LLC”. My support will dazzle you, we gots da bling and the traffic. I run the show and I’m a pretty boy.
Brad “Pitt” Dewey, Hewey, Lewey & Dewey Law Office
I charge $350 per hour. Can you afford it, Kanye? Don’t waste my time, call my secretary.
Mikey “Da Man” Pepper, GreenSawgrass.org
Can you use the Google, Kanye? Outta my sight, lazy n*gga!
Abraham “Tattoo” Dynamite, Dismal Domain Sales
Kanye, I told you to leave Beyonce alone, she don’t need no ass-kissing but I tell you what; show up on all the awards and do the same show you did at MTV and expect a movie deal. You never know, film producers and such are always there and there are deals that happen the last minute. So go there and snoop around if there are openings for you, and you might end up getting a record signup and you’d be smoked up like “WOW! that was da sh*t!”
Charlie “Woolie” Wrong, Doodee Search.com Inc
Make money Kanye, but get off your lazy ass first, and copy others. Wait, you already do that.
Bob “Stallion” Swiiing, BobSwiiing.com
Look old timer, what you want to know about domains, I’ll give you the executive summary although you’re a dumbass: Buy low, sell high, get off your high horse too. That helps.
Mandy “Phat” Putzer, ADHD Domains
Be all you can be. Join the army. Or something.