Milan is known for its enthusiastic soccer fans - and now TRAFFIC Milan 2010.

Ever since the news of Hank Alvarez and his auction trickery broke back in November, the former VP of Operations at Snapnames (sometimes known as Nelson Brady) has been nowhere to be seen.

It seems that in the domaining universe things are forgiven and forgotten quite easily.

There are rumors, however,  that Hank Alvarez will appear - albeit, incognito – at TRAFFIC Milan which opens its welcoming gates to domainers in less than three weeks.

Here’s the reasoning behind this alleged, secretive appearance:

Hank Alvarez is essentially not charged with any crime, ever since the class action lawsuit was dismissed by the judge.

Milan is in Italy, where the Mafia still controls a large portion of business. What a better place to be introduced back to the domain industry?

Hank Alvarez was once married to Maria DiFranceze, a great-niece of Don Corleone, so Hank has connections in Italy. Once part of the famiglia, only death can undo the bonds.

Hank Alvarez loves pizza. His favorite is “stuffed” with onions and seafood – just like stuffing auction prices was his favorite practice at Snapnames.

TRAFFIC Milan tickets are affordable. The euro is down and Hank doesn’t have much money now that his Snapnames money-making machine is gone.

To a lot of Europeans, Hank Alvarez represents the epitome of American Ingenuity and Entrepreneurship. Essentially, he’s a domain hero.

Stay tuned as we uncover more details of this upcoming European Vacation of Hank’s – incognito, of course.

Recently, we announced how Chef Patrick is launching DNCruise – a floating domainer conference.

It seems that financing hit a couple of icebergs and certain adjustments needed to be made, to allow for the cruise’s success. Some of the potential changes are displayed below.

Queen of the Bayou. The unsinkable ship of the conference.

Roasted chicken sammich with pickles and onions - it's what's for dinner.

Entertainment aboard the DNCruise domain conference will have a local Central American color.

Nelson Brady - Event speaker on DNCruise. He's very affordable.

If you filled out the form carefully, Snapnames already sent you a check.

It’s been a full two months since the Hank Alvarez (aka “Nelson Brady“) scandal broke the sleepy waters of the Domain village.

It was a day of infamy, when Snapnames announced that their very own Vice President of Engineering did nothing short of engineer the results of thousands of domain auctions.

At the point of breaking the news, Snapnames had already hired Rust Consulting, a third party forensics company specializing in putting out legal fires before they become holocausts.

Two months and two class action lawsuits later, our Snapnames rebate check has arrived in the mail; right in time for the celebration of the Russian new year. Spasiba, Snapnames.

We would like to thank Snapnames for delivering back with interest, the $x,xxx in money that we spent competing with Hank Alvarez. What about the blood, sweat and tears, these are still pending.

To be honest, the Oversee company is definitely trying to invest in a future of less suspicious domain bidders and to increase profits for the company.

Until the next domain scandal hits.

We decided to take your pulse about what could potentially happen in the future, with regards to a scandalous situation.

What happened to the mysterious Nelson Brady?

It appears that the noise surrounding the Snapnames / Halvarez scandal has completely disappeared from the domaining airwaves – much like Nelson Brady a.k.a. Hank Alvarez himself.

While we can only speculate on the ongoing relationship between the named perpetrator and his former employer, it appears that there is some sort of agreement between the two.

There are some rumors, however,  that Nelson Brady will make a public appearance tomorrow via the domainer channels; this has yet to be confirmed.

Meanwhile, we are looking for your opinion on what is going on with Nelson and his whereabouts.

Bido follows on the footsteps of Snapnames' success - snapping up their VP of Engineering

In today’s technology market, talent is snapped up fast; it’s not rare for prodigies fresh out of college to be hired by large firms on the West Coast – such as Yahoo, Google and Digg.

There is, however, currently a shortage of talent on the East Coast. Florida-based Bido Inc seized the opportunity presented by the return of Hank Alvarez to the employee pool of auction experts and has just hired him as VP of Engineering at Bido.com

“It was a non-brainer, said Sahar Sarid – broadly smiling. “Hank brings to Bido years of confidential knowledge about the intricacies of the domain auction system that he rigged at Snapnames. We believe that his expertise of “on-the-fly” script modification, multiple-bidding software development and self-destructive-bot bidder AI code made him the perfect candidate for the start-up environment here at Bido”, he added – smiling still.

Hank Alvarez – or Nelson Brady as his alias was at Snapnames – was hired with a starting salary of $185,000 annually, plus a bonus of $125,000 if he brings in 50,000 new customers to Bido in the next 18 months. In his own words:

“Well, I’m excited to be able to start again here at Bido – Sahar is a great, cool guy with a radical hairstyle. I love it here in Florida and I’m getting warmed up to bring to Bido the success that Snapnames enjoyed under my command. I’m totally stoked.”

Hank Alvarez recently launched his private web site at HankAlvarez.com – offering his expert services as a freelancer.

As part of the Bido-Alvarez agreement, Hank will be monitored 24/7 by 18 cameras and Sahar’s pair of vicious rottweilers. This will ensure that he won’t be pulling anything funky on the Bido guys.

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Editor’s note: As with the rest of  the DomainGang.com content, this post is a parody. Bido did not really hire Nelson Brady; they are smarter than that. This news is for entertainment purposes only.

Woohoo!

Now, if only they did the obvious: Generate the history as files offline once, then link them to each account without the need to worry about the potential of servers crashing due to thousands of database queries per minute.

Makes sense. Just ask the new VP of Engineering.

The path to domain success started with Indian software engineers working overtime

The Snapnames scandal that involved the former VP of Engineering, Nelson “Halvarez” Brady, has intrigued the investigation team of DomainGang.

After lots of research in the area frequented by Halvarez, we managed to get hold of his personal diaries, excerpts of which we will publish in a series of posts.

WARNING:

Some of the diary entries are quite graphic and shocking – please DO NOT PROCEED any further if you are not tolerant of descriptions of abuse of corporate power, violent cussing and the side-effects of consuming mass quantities of Mexican food.

December 4th, 2004

Ramesh is building an awesome new bot, it will kick ass. I know this will grow big. Talked to him about getting an apartment downtown by himself, away from the other Indian software engineers. This boy is brilliant. I can already smell the money.

December 12th, 2004

The code works. Sorta. Fucking server crashed after we upgraded Apache. Got to run the best software for this project. Ramesh and Jilal are on it. I push their buttons well, now Ramesh is talking about bringing his girlfriend from India. Damn bastard. He makes a fortune by Indian standards. I saw the bot in test mode, twice it made the mistake of overbidding. But we’ll iron this baby out before D-Day.

December 25th, 2004

I am pissed drunk. Merry fucking Christmas. We had several registrations gone south this past week. But the servers pulled through so the hardware is kick-ass now. Will have to start rolling out the beta. Everyone is talking about my company, I am on my way to fame and riches. That 5/3 in Malibu will be mine.

December 26th, 2004

I can’t believe this shit. That asshole Ramesh quit! I will cut his balls off if I lay my hands on him. He said he got an offer from Pool.com. Motherfuckers! Now I need to hire a local engineer, no time to train more Indians. I’m still sick from all the drinking yesterday.

December 30th, 2004

Yeah baby! Mason is the new developer, straight out of college. I told him what we are building here, an artificial intelligence enhancement for an online battling game. Stupid geek bought it. He will fix all the spaghetti code stupid Ramesh created. Come 2005 we will be ready to rock n’roll!

January 6th, 2005

We had a few tequilas with the guys after work at Gringas Locas. We decided to name the bot “Halvarez”. I had a good laugh telling stupid wetback jokes but Pedro, the GUI guy got pissed at us. We had fun, more drinks. I got a lap dance from Raxy, she’s hot as hell. Gave my boys the day off tomorrow. I need to set up the monitoring room. This will be awesome.

January 10th, 2005

OK, so the monitoring room is done, finished. Four servers: Halvarez1, Halvarez2, Pedro and Mamacita – two run the bidding software and two monitor the proxy bids, snipe attempts and all the crap live bidders try to pull off on us. Blows my mind seeing how easy it’s going to be. Just need to test the shit out of this rig and we’ll go live.

January 21st, 2005

More upgrades from Mason. This boy’s a genius. Now the “halvarez” script has gotten its final touches: human-like behavior. We want to be able to lose some auctions, win some. Get some variation into the “game”. Or customers might guess what is going on. Fuck it. I don’t care, those stupid domainers are bent over and their ass is mine.

January 29th, 2005

First test was great. “Halvarez” kicked ass, got into the auction when instructed, raised the bids when a certain threshold was crossed. We had 5 bidders going for the domain, went up to $1,850 in a matter of minutes – Halvarez pulled out a bit too soon but oh well. Who makes $1,850 that fast? Nobody. I can already taste the millions!

PART 2 – Coming soon – Stay tuned!

Big Joe Bubba is patiently awaiting for Nelson "Halvarez" Brady at San Quentin federal prison

After news about Nelson “Halvarez” Brady broke all over the domain blogosphere, we took the liberty to interview a potential future cellmate of Halvarez – Big Joe Bubba.

Big Joe Bubba is currently incarcerated in the San Quentin federal prison, after he was sentenced to 20 years for manslaughter, multiple sodomy, arson and grand theft auto.

At 325lbs and 6ft 4″ tall, Big Joe Bubba looks like the perfect cellmate for an intelligent, soft-spoken corporate engineer like Halvarez.

“Big Joe Bubba, we heard you’re looking forward to spending several years with Nelson “Halvarez” Brady in San Quentin.”

“Yeah. Can’t wait for that little bitch to come on over. I get lonely at night and I get tired humping my pillow. After a while, the feathers spill out. Man, can’t wait for that sweetmeat Halvarez.”

“Is it true that San Quentin is really tough? Why do they call it ‘PMITA’? “

“Don’t know huh? It means “pound me in the ass” prison. And that’s what happens here, my man. Halvarez drops the soap in the showers? He gets cornholed before he can blink twice. It’s the law of the bigger man, you hear?”

“Surely that’s some undue punishment. The guy isn’t that big of a crook. At least not compared to Bernie Madoff.”

“Ha! No shit. And you know, I don’t care. When Nelson comes to San Quentin he will get constant tea-bagging, you know? And it’s not an import from India. No sir. That motherf*cker will taste some California grass right off my balls!”

“Hmm okay, Big Joe Bubba. You’re the man. Anything you want to share with our readers?”

“Yeah. You do the crime, you do the time. It’s the law. And the law in my cell is that you get to be my bitch. So kids, watch out and play safe or Big Joe Bubba will come and get you!”