African Monarch won’t use the WIPO to claim domain name

Africa has long been known as the cradle of the human race, where the oldest known humanoids evolved from other primates, according to anthropologists.

It’s also the place where mount Kilimanjaro rises above the horizon, where 26 out of 27 domainers recently ascended and home to several tribes, including the tribe that populates the Kingdom of Toro.

Established in 1822, the Kingdom of Toro in Uganda is home to roughly 2 million inhabitants, ruled by the youngest monarch in the world: King Oyo, just 17 and a king since the age of 3.

The monarch is rarely referred to by his full formal name: Rukirabasaija Oyo Nyimba Kabamba Iguru Rukidi IV – that’s a nightmare to remember. Instead, he goes by King Oyo.

The problem is, has been registered for the past 11 years, and now that King Oyo as a teenager wants to use social networking channels such as twitter, facebook, myspace etc. he discovered that his name is being squatted upon.

The Kingdom of Toro produces a small variety of fruit, vegetables, goats and kukumu extract, to be used as an aphrodisiac. It is rumored that kukumu extract can elongate the man’s penis by as much as 3 inches. The women of the Kingdom of Toro are known to have the happiest faces in the world.

Recently, King Oyo announced that he wants and gathered the communal of tribesmen to deliver his decision. After removing the earphones of his iPod, King Oyo thus spoke:

“We know domain is sat upon by white man, who want eliminate pride of Africa. We know that we need domain to promote goats, kukumu export and facebook. So we take domain by voodoo power of Molaku Pupu Zinailo!”, said King Oyo.

This decision, to circumvent the usual WIPO process to claim rights to a domain has shocked several domainers in Africa who are trying to eliminate the voodoo practice of Molaku Pupu Zinailo.

This ancient African voodoo ritual involves the slaughtering of six chicken, one goat and their stuffing with onions and wild rice. A grandmother under 30 years of age must then use the voodoo meat on her body and sleep with the man who will consume the most kukumu in an hour. This will guarantee prosperity and success for the cause of the voodoo ritual.

“We listen to white music but also Michael Jackson who is brother to nation of Toro. We punish squatter of royal property of domain and with blessing of Molaku Pupu Zinailo we crush his reproductive organs from afar. Long live the Kingdom of Toro!”, exclaimed an excited King Oyo, before he put his iPod earphones back on and checked his facebook account.

It is certain that the next ICANN meeting will not occur in Uganda as the Kingdom of Toro will attempt to sabotage any plans for establishing higher wages for the ICANN panelists.

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2 Responses to “African Monarch won’t use the WIPO to claim domain name”
  1. Zak says:

    Believe it or not, you had me until I got to King Oyo’s quotation! lol

  2. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    Zak – welcome to DomainGang. Did you hear what the King of Morocco is about to do? 😀

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