After two weeks of sexual abstinence, domainers return to spousal duties

Are you from out of town? A Night at the Roxbury might as well be a case of partying domainers.

Unless your spouse is a domainer and you attend every domainer conference together, chances are that this year your sexual abstinence has hit new records.

With two major domainer conferences back to back – first TRAFFIC in Las Vegas and then DomainFest in Santa Monica, California – domainers have already spent a lot of time away from their loved ones.

Trisha White from Tampa, Florida – whose husband is a full time domainer – explains her situation:

“My hubby attended the Vegas domain show and then he called me one night, clearly drunk and told me how much he misses my [ descriptive terms edited out ] and how he’d [ expletive deleted ] my brains out when he’d come back home to Tampa. I instantly got hot and bothered. Then he told me he’d be attending DomainFest and mumbled something about Playboy, and I was like WTF???”

It’s evident that with so many “elements of distraction” – particularly during the parties and after-parties of each day – the average committed domainer that attends a conference either practices sexual abstinence or submits to temptation and its consequences.

“I love my wife, don’t get me wrong, she rocks my world”, says K.S. from Canada who attended both TRAFFIC and DomainFest. “But man, if you have the chance to tap some fine ass on the side without her finding out, you’d be a fool not to do it”, he adds in a sleazy smile that reeks of alcohol and cigar smoke.

During conferences, wedding bands and rings disappear and makeup is used to conceal various “love bites” obtained during the nights of extravagant domaining.

But once the fun is over and conference attendees pack up, once the lights of Vegas and the Playboy Mansion dim far in the distance, out come the framed photographs of wives and girlfriends, husbands and boyfriends and kids. The family men and women of domaining once again return to their spousal duties – until Domainer Mardi Gras kicks in.

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One Response to “After two weeks of sexual abstinence, domainers return to spousal duties”
  1. BullS says:

    Domaining is like sex…once you lose your virginity, there is no end in sight, all hell breaks loose.

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