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Constipation leads to some great domain registrations!

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A new study by the University of Alberta, in Canada, reveals that constipation can offer a positive outlook to the daily lives of domain investors that suffer from it.

“The study sample was 150 men and women professionals, suffering from various gastrointestinal conditions,” said Martha Stewheart of the University’s medical lab.

“The sample was given ample time, between 30 and 45 minutes to complete their daily bowel movement, while actively using a tablet. The results were astonishing,” said Stewheart.

Almost 88.5% of all participants that used a tablet while sitting on the toilet, were 150% more productive; those that chose to delve in domain registrations, ended up researching and securing some pretty impressive domain names.

“We followed up on the stool data presented to us by the participants; most of them eventually turned $9 dollar registrations into sales ranging from $250 to $1,400 dollars,” said Stewheart, while disinfecting an iPad with alcohol. “It appears that constipation can be productive both ways, while there is no cure for it, the condition can definitely prove to be financially beneficial.” she added.

Thousands of Americans suffer from constipation and are medicated for it; the use of a tablet, smart phone or laptop while on “the throne” apparently releases hormones that lead to a productive engagement of the brain, and that of the colon.

“I would advise domainers to acquire a smart media device, and a cleansing kit as well,” said Martha Stewheart. “Disinfect the tablet or smart phone thoroughly after every productive session. Also, eat more veggies and less red meat, fried foods, soda or processed stuff – they can affect your domain registrations as a side effect!” exclaimed Stewheart, smiling.

Data from the research will be published by the Medical Canada, Eh! magazine, that hits Canadian newsstands on February 30th.


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