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Domain Grandma lost a fortune at Snapnames auctions

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Maria Di Mastroyanno – a 69 year old grandma from Palermo, Italy is distraught with the news.

She logs into Domaining.com every 10 minutes to read the latest updates on the Nelson “Halvarez” Brady scandal, that has rocked every domainer in this Italian town.

Shaken by violent crimes in the past, Palermo now boasts a population of 2,600 domainers – primarily typo and trademark-squatting entrepreneurs; some of which are former acquaintances of the Sicilian mafia who have retired to make an honest living.

“Madonna mia, that sonna offa bitch, Halvarez. I swear to Holy Jesus, if I don’t call my brother Francesco to cutta offa his balls. What he do, he takes the bread out of the mouth of mi famiglia. Vaffanculo tutti!”, she cusses in Italian.

Maria has been delving in domain names for the past six years; she has been frustrated with facing Halvarez as her main opponent in every auction that she placed a bid at. Over the course of these years, she figures she has won over 300 domains at Snapnames, after ostensibly bidding against Halvarez in the last minutes of the auction, citing Italian pride and Madonna as her driving forces in domaining.

“I wanta see Halvarez pay, pay with his own blood! No man will take the bread from my table and cheat my famiglia out of the bread, capice? I will cutta offa his balls, my God be my witness. I have to feed my boys, my grand sons Luigi and Simone Di Mastroyanno, they are orphans. I will cutta offa Halvarez balls with my teeth! Figlio di puttana!”, she adds for emphasis, talking about Halvarez’s mother being an apparent prostitute.

Other domainers in Palermo believe that further action by the Mafia is necessary, in order to force the former VP of Engineering at Snapnames to full confession. Then, they plan to cut his testicles off.


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Comments

5 Responses to “Domain Grandma lost a fortune at Snapnames auctions”
  1. Allie says:

    I’m thinking that grandma knows a lot more about domaining than I do. 🙂

  2. Howard Neu says:

    Grandma would be the perfect guest speaker at the next T.R.A.F.F.I.C. show in Las Vegas! All domainers would love to hear from her.

  3. Giovanni "Crazee" Mossolini says:

    But her name isn’t Rick! 😀

  4. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    Halvarez as a TRAFFIC speaker sounds like a good idea. He’d promote his upcoming book, “IF I SHILL BID IT“.

  5. pitbullstew says:

    MAMMA MIA you should get in touch with my atty!
    Michael J. Aschenbrener | KamberEdelson LLC
    350 N. LaSalle St., Suite 1300
    Chicago, IL 60654
    1.312.589.6379 (direct) | 1.312.589.6370 (firm) | 1.312.589.6378 (fax)
    maschenbrener@kamberedelson.com | http://www.kamberedelson.com

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