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Google buys Twitter for $1.5 Twillion dollars

Twitter's Fail Whale is now going to be lifted by Google widgets.

Quite often, success comes after a huge failure: When Microsoft beat Google in the race to acquire Skype, Google went full force after another valuable Internet asset, Twitter.

The “Not evil” empire that Google is building is now about to store several billion tweets that contain insane amounts of geolocated information from millions of users around the world.

The price: $1.5 trillion dollars – or make that, “twillion”.

“In a matter of weeks we will be storing enough information about our users’ favorite food, sex habits and personal vitals that they thoughtlessly release on Twitter”, said Klaus Krast, VIP of marketing for Google.

“We will thus be able to better serve ads to our advertising clients and in the process give less money to domainers”, he added with a smirk.

Google has been changing its tune lately with regards to PPC payouts, tightening the Adsense hose to a dripping point.

The twitter acquisition is still in the works and it’s expected to come to fruition as soon as a $900 billion dollar hedge fund controlled by Dominique Strauss-Kahn is released.

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One Response to “Google buys Twitter for $1.5 Twillion dollars”
  1. BullS says:

    After Anheuser-Busch bought Daryl’s drunkdomainer, they are buying facebook.

    Anybody below 13 that sign up gets a case of beer.

    Hook them up early when young.

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