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Google to charge extra for special search placement


Google is evil - Image from GEvil.org

It’s bad news for domainers used to PPC revenue generation and monetization.

Google, the 800 lbs gorilla of global searches on the Internet, will begin charging for specialized search engine placement, paid directly to its middle management executives.

This means, that for your crappy domain name to appear in the top 10 results in Google, you’ll have to oil the palm of Google managers, the way things are done in many middle Eastern countries.

“We examined the economy of many nations, such as Iraq, Pakistan and Burma,” said Matt Cutts of Google.

“After careful ‘Reaganomics’, we determined that Google has been losing about two billion dollars in revenue each month, by not accepting bribes. So we are making changes to our terms and conditions to address that loss,” added Cutts.

Google will begin mailing special padded envelopes to all active holders of Google accounts, starting next week. The recipients will be able to use those envelopes to mail off cash addressed to Google executives.

The new method will cost money but it’s guaranteed to produce results.


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6 Responses to “Google to charge extra for special search placement”
  1. jen says:

    where is the source for this article? defies the whole ranking algorithm purpose. I don’t believe it.

  2. Lucius "Gunz" Fabrice says:

    Jen – Did you Google it? If not, expect your special envelope in the mail soon.

  3. jen says:

    what term do i google?

  4. aZooZa says:

    This site just gets better and better, and funnier and funnier. Spat out my full set with the way this article was written. By the way, I’ve now trademarked Gargoyle™ as a term of endearment when referencing the big ‘G’.

  5. Lucius "Gunz" Fabrice says:

    Jen – Matt Cutts blog. Caution: it’s graphics intensive.

    aZooZa – Ah, the benefits of being on a different time zone 😀 PS Did you get the padded envelope yet?

  6. aZooZa says:

    No, they sent me a box of matches. I’m bewildered…

    I’m now viewing your organ with the ‘Flipboard’ app on my iPad. Just added your RSS feed and it works a treat.

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