‘Jesus Toast’ eBay Auction Canceled

The “Jesus Toast” eBay auction that had hundreds of religious followers waiting in anticipation has been canceled.

The seller, Jessica Gulli states:

“I have had an offer from our Almighty Savior himself in the amount of $20,000 USD. I consider the offer to be acceptable in absence of any significantly higher offer or power. As a result, instead of holding an auction I will now be doing as my Jesus instructed.”

“Despite the fact that the offer is from a non-human entity, it is my intention to give careful consideration to all offers that end up in my bank account. I would like to wrap things up within the next few days as I plan to go on vacation in Paris. Praise God!”

This left many individuals upset including a small town man named Gerald Mayfield:

“Who can compete against freakin Jesus? Since he, God and the Holy Ghost are all joint owners of heaven, this means Jesus is going to get $6,666 of this deal therefore only paying out $13.3k.”

When Gulli was questioned on why she neglected to contact Jesus first before scheduling the eBay auction, she explained:

“My viewpoint has changed over the last week after a lot of thinking and praying. Things aren’t always 20/20. Besides, nobody can outbid Jesus. It’s the perfect shill bidding, suckers!”.

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2 Responses to “‘Jesus Toast’ eBay Auction Canceled”
  1. Kevin Davis says:

    And away we go!!!

  2. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:


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