It's a mad, mad, mad Domaining World!
The choice of Don King as the celebrity extraordinaire by Rick Schwartz was definitely a surprise.
The Domain King chose a boxing event celebrity known for his extravagant style and outrageous hairstyle, as the cherry on the TRAFFIC pie.
So we thought, what would be some equally bizarre choices for keynote speakers at TRAFFIC and we came up with the top 10 list!
10. Mike Tyson – If you can have Don King at a domainer conference, why not have the biggest boxing fighter of all time? Mikey has a great sense of humor and his facial tattoo is very motivational. Plus he’s gone from rags to riches to rags – a great example of what not to do in the domain business.
9. Sylvester Stallone – The Italian stallion is no spring chicken, having turned 64 in July. But he’s an example of effort and hard work through the years. Sure, he can’t say more than 5-10 syllables in a single sentence but he’s an intelligent business man who just so happens to use creatine and human growth hormone to achieve his muscle goals.
8. George W. Bush – The former two-time president is writing his memoirs in Texas. Known for his grammatical errors and public gaffes, Dubya is the only president that understands “the Internets“. George likes things plain, so expect lots of jokes about Saddam Hussein and the occasional prayer to Jesus during TRAFFIC.
7. Angelina Jolie – She’s an ambassador of peace and a human rights advocate, so why not be the absolute speaker for domaining as well? Angelina’s movie performances almost always guarantee a box office hit; she could star in a movie about a sexy spy who delves in domains in her spare time, only to find they are stolen by Iranian hackers. Instant hit among the domain community.
6. Elton John – The unquestionable king of glam rock can still play a mean piano; despite having lost his taste for oversized, tinted eyeglasses. Every gathering with Elton John present can easily turn into a mini concert that will gain publicity worldwide. Why not have Elton write some killer songs for the occasion, such as “The Domain Bitch is back“, “Domainer Man” and “I guess that’s why they call them pigeon domains“.
5. Kim Kardashian – Famous for her curvaceous derriere and for exploring interracial relationships, Kim would be the perfect spokesperson in the celebrity circles about domains. Those rich and famous celebrities that simply get a MySpace page or a twitter and a facebook profile have thousands of followers that they could relay the message about domains and domaining to. Kim is turning 30 right after TRAFFIC ends so that’d be the best time for Rick Schwartz to approach her for a future appearance.
4. Queen Elizabeth II – She’s the perfect political figure to utilize for the benefit of domaining. With her grandmotherly looks and elegant choices of hats and handbags, the Queen is in her 80’s but still maintains a busy schedule with charities and politics. Plus she needs funds to help support the numerous palaces throughout the United Kingdom; something that could be an interesting “business to business” proposal.
3. Tiger Woods – The best golfer in the world has been having problems with his sponsors and for having the most expensive divorce in human history. But Tiger learned from his mistakes and could be used to promote domaining throughout his remaining golfing days. Imagine a whole new range of ads, such as Domaining.com embroidered on his cap, shirt and gloves or an ad promoting domains for Rick Schwartz: “Ass.com – I’d tap that as well.“
2. Mickey Mouse – The most famous cartoon character in the world holds a huge potential as a domaining spokesperson. Blessed with two locations, Disneyland in the West and Disney World in the East, Mickey Mouse is perfect for presenting matching TRAFFIC conferences, aided by the wonderful associates of Disney. No more need for domainers to wear silly Mickey Mouse hats when the real thing will be right in front of them.
1. Anthony Stark – I don’t care if you think that Anthony Stark is a fictional figure. Go see the movie Iron Man 2 and you will agree that the single most suitable presenter for a domainers conference is the entrepreneur slash inventor depicted by Robert Downey Jr. He’s got charisma, charm and he can be funny and dish out tough love when needed. A bit like Rick Schwartz.
I’m confused…
Today you wrote: “The choice of Don King as the celebrity extraordinaire by Rick Schwartz was definitely A SURPRISE.”
Yesterday you wrote: “The announcement by Rick Schwartz that Don King will be center part of the speaker entourage should come as NO SURPRISE to avid readers of DomainGang.”
The only conclusion I can draw from this is that even though you’re an author on DomainGang, you’re not an avid reader of DomainGang… or something….
Semantics, my dear Jeff. 😀 What wasn’t a surprise yesterday can be a surprise today. Tomorrow, we might even all be used car salesmen. So enjoy what you got and treasure it like a precious flower.
Or something like that.
I’ll bet Don King owns a load of boxing related domains and probably owns miketyson.com too 🙂
That’s some funny shit 🙂
You forgot about Bill Gates! He could buy all of the domains at auction and take over the domain industry all together. Maybe call it “Doors” to get into any web site!
You got a nice one here, Kim Kardashian. What information can she impart ? 😉
Hey ,you forgot Paris Hilton who is famous for being famous and whose
keynote speech will consist of just 3 words:
“What’s a domain?”
Tric – One can’t have Paris Hilton as a keynote speaker. She’s known for stuffing things up her you-know-what and it’d be a security nightmare over stolen secrets.
Charley – Kim has 5 million (that’s right, 5 MILLION) twitter followers. All it takes is one tweet to promote TRAFFIC worldwide.
Howard 😀 – Bill Gates could buy all domains and forward them to Microsoft. That’d be a complete nightmare, example: Clubbing.com has become “Club Bing”
Sammy – Funny or not, it’s definitely plausible 😀