Ukrainian rebels shoot down Google balloon providing Internet access

Ukrainian rebels used missiles against Google Blimps.

Ukrainian rebels used missiles against Google Blimps.

Ukrainian rebels supporting a pro-Russian government, have resorted to yet another act of terrorism.

After the downing of the Malaysian flight MH17, commercial flights in the region have stopped; but Google maintains several blimp “balloons” in the area to provide Internet access to millions of Ukrainian farmers.

“Ukrainian farmers rely on Google and its free service of Google Blimps, and Putin’s terrorism has reached new heights,” said the Ukrainian minister of education and technology, Serhiy Kvit.

“We depend on Google Blimps to provide accurate information on crop conditions, animal dispersion and access to adult channels; Putin’s pro-Russian cronies have downed the balloons!’ exclaimed Kvit, cussing Putin’s mother in Russian.

Downed over Ukraine: Google blimp.

Downed over Ukraine: Google blimp.

Google’s Blimps will eventually be replaced by the Google GeoStat modules that will provide advanced Internet access from a height of 65,000 kilometers.

That range that can only be reached by Russian intercontinental ballistic missiles carrying nuclear warheads, in which case we’d have bigger issues to deal with than Internet access.

For more information, visit the official government portal of Ukraine.

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