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A Mini-Guide on how to protect yourself against time-wasting lowballers

It's easy to figure out in seconds if an email offer comes from a legitimate source - this mini guide will show you how

It's easy to figure out in seconds if an email offer comes from a legitimate source - this mini guide will show you how to delete most of your incoming email in seconds and save you tons of valuable time.

So you got an email inquiring about that ultra generic, long-tail domain of yours, let’s call it PlasticKitchenKnives.com

The email appears to be legitimate, from an end-user that really wants to give you tons of money for it.

Or is he?

Let’s talk about several clues that would make you decide quickly whether you’re communicating with a real buyer or a sham, time-wasting, low-balling, scum-sucking son of a bitch.

  1. Is the email sender one of: Hotmail, Yahoo, Gmail, MSN ?
    If it is, delete the email and go back to playing Counter-Strike on your PC.
  2. Does the sender only disclose his first name and no other info?
    Delete the motherlover. “Bob” wants to waste your time.
  3. The email has a signature with apparent valid info, but it’s in another country. Do the full headers point to an ISP in that country?
    If they don’t, the email is spoofed. Delete immediately and cuss out loud.
  4. If the headers point to a valid location in that country, is the email from a lawyer who wants to grab it from you on behalf of some freaking business in the French Antilles?
    If yes – reply with a quick email: “Sorry Fabrice, this is America – motherf*cker!” and delete their email
  5. So everything looks legit, the sender even asks how much you want for the domain.
    You respond with a short email: “Fabrice, make me an offer at this Sedo.com location“. If you don’t get an offer via Sedo in 24 hours, delete that mofo. Takes 2 minutes to set up a Sedo.com account, biatch!
  6. Wow, you get an offer via Sedo in less than 24 hours from a buyer at the same location as Fabrice. Was the Sedo account just created?
    If it says “2005” then Fabrice is a player domainer that poses as an end user and buys domains for reselling. Delete the muthaf@cka!
  7. So far so good! Fabrice’s Sedo account is fresh. Does the offer amount match or exceed your expected range? If it’s $60 then Fabrice is a time-wasting, low-balling, nutsack-licking jerkoff. Delete that email and ignore his offers until he sobers up.
  8. Whoah! The offer is seriously high. Must be your lucky day. Or is it?
    Who would offer that much for PlasticKitchenKnives.com? Seriously, your domain sucks and you know it. Delete that email and cancel that transaction.

In other words:

An email from a generic provider, with no full contact info, fake headers and no monetary offer is a waste of time. So now you know that 99% of these email inquiries ought to get deleted right away – especially because 99% of your domains suck.

Coming next: how to respond to phone inquiries.

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6 Responses to “A Mini-Guide on how to protect yourself against time-wasting lowballers”
  1. John says:

    Awesome guide, thanks 😀 Can’t wait for the phone version!

  2. Danny Pryor says:

    This was a great post. It’s all very true, but the way you wrote it was hilarious.


  3. kYLE says:


  4. Michael says:

    Great Post Thanks for the laugh

  5. Cole says:

    You forgot to mentioned what you should do if they ask for you to pay for an appraisal then give them a 20% discount on the appraised value. If that happens you are all set – just fork out $30-$60 and who knows…..

    Wait a second….

  6. Patrick McDermott says:

    “…especially because 99% of your domains suck.”


    I don’t know where you got that domain statistics but it is wrong.

    100% of my domains suck.

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