Domain Seizures: a new epidemic hits domainers hard

It’s news across the nation: domain seizures.

Domainers are paralyzed with fear from this new reality, for which – unfortunately – there is no cure, currently.

What can domainers do to protect themselves and their assets?

We asked prominent medical neurosurgeon, Flip A. Propheet at the University of Calaveras.

Dr. Propheet, what exactly are domain seizures?

Well, a domain seizure is a relatively new disease that begins when over-stimulation of the frontal lobes occurs. Reasons behind this include the registration of exotic ccTLDs, constant use of online research tools and constantly hitting refresh on availability lists.

What are the symptoms of domain seizures?

A domain seizure is almost an epileptic seizure. The domainer’s eyes roll back, the tongue becomes swollen and folds back, the palms are sweaty and the mouth becomes either extremely dry or frothing with saliva. Domainers that experience these symptoms definitely face a domain seizure.

Is it common and how can it be avoided?

It’s definitely becoming more common, particularly after attending several ICANN meetings. Domain seizures sap the energy of domainers that participate in their day to day understanding of the domain industry. Sometimes, a domain seizure can occur after reading an early morning post by Rick Schwartz, or late night posts by The Frager Factor. Domainers need to stay off the computer for at least 24 hours after such a seizure occurs.

Is there a cure for domain seizures, Dr. Propheet?

Currently, there is no cure that the FDA would approve. Domain seizures can happen to anyone and at any time; therefore there is a series of things to consider. For example, don’t spend more than 10% of your budget investing in new gTLDs or IDN domains. Also, having sex with someone other than yourself on a daily basis helps stimulate the frontal lobes, thus reducing the potential of a domain seizure. Endorphins that are released during coitus lower the long-term harm of domain seizures.

And lastly, Dr. Propheet, is it ok to admit to having had a domain seizure?

As with every condition and disease, one has to come to terms with it and accept it; embrace it, if you may, before treating it. There is an established hotline and Domain Seizures Anonymous is a group that gathers at major domainer events, such as TRAFFIC and Domainfest.

Thank you, Dr. Propheet for this detailed analysis of domain seizures and their effects on domainers.

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Comments

2 Responses to “Domain Seizures: a new epidemic hits domainers hard”
  1. SPK says:

    lol good one!! đŸ™‚

  2. Dan says:

    Hi “Guns”…

    Very well done, and it is very funny!

    But,

    Then you really do have the ‘serious side’ that would be ‘funny’ ~ if this people involved were not so incompetent….and also, have ‘zero’ understanding of the Internet, or maybe they do, and just want to destroy it on purpose.

    Suggested reading (most are my comments (Dan), but not my site) ~

    http://www.thedomains.com/2011/05/12/government-domain-seizures-are-out-of-protect-ip-bill-but-search-engines-isps-payment-processors-are-on-the-clock/#comments

    ___

    All the best,
    Dan

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