Verisign projects big numbers for the future.
Verisign stock jumped 200% and some change on Friday, following the announcement of the revolutionary Domain Scalping Marketplace ™ on the corporate blog.
Aimed at seasoned domain investors and newbies alike, the Domain Scalping Marketplace brings several new features that most domainers didn’t known they’d need.
Marcus Aurelius, Memes & Propaganda VP at Verisign, shared the news following the announcement gala:
“At Verisign, such strategic implementation of value-added services is our bread and butter, with a pinch of kosher salt. With the Domain Scalping Marketplace, we’re inviting those that misunderstood our well-meant intentions, to buy and sell domain names without fear of the future.”
Here are the top new features on the Verisign Domain Scalping Marketplace:
- Domain renewals are automatic in groups of 100 years – no more late fees!
- Every domain sold on the Domain Scalping Marketplace enters sweepstakes for a plasma TV, a blender, and other amazing gifts!
- A free printed sticker of the “DSM” logo!
- Free exposure on the Verisign blog’s most controversial posts!
- Domain owners receive a free “Domain Scalper” certificate with every domain sale!
But seriously, what makes the new Verisign marketplace stand out from the rest?
“We are excited being able to provide our shareholders with plenty of positive big numbers, and while domain renewals are getting more expensive in the next decade, the overall value for the consumer improves 100 times – at a minimum – in the next centennial; this is the message we are excited to deliver with this new domain marketplace,” said Marcus Aurelius, smiling.
By retaining the .COM marketplace under its corporate umbrella, Verisign will be able to project $12.8 trillion dollars in revenue for Q1 of 2119 – a year not too far from now, according to financial analysts.
