The path to domain success started with Indian software engineers working overtime
The Snapnames scandal that involved the former VP of Engineering, Nelson “Halvarez” Brady, has intrigued the investigation team of DomainGang.
After lots of research in the area frequented by Halvarez, we managed to get hold of his personal diaries, excerpts of which we will publish in a series of posts.
WARNING:
Some of the diary entries are quite graphic and shocking – please DO NOT PROCEED any further if you are not tolerant of descriptions of abuse of corporate power, violent cussing and the side-effects of consuming mass quantities of Mexican food.
December 4th, 2004
Ramesh is building an awesome new bot, it will kick ass. I know this will grow big. Talked to him about getting an apartment downtown by himself, away from the other Indian software engineers. This boy is brilliant. I can already smell the money.
December 12th, 2004
The code works. Sorta. Fucking server crashed after we upgraded Apache. Got to run the best software for this project. Ramesh and Jilal are on it. I push their buttons well, now Ramesh is talking about bringing his girlfriend from India. Damn bastard. He makes a fortune by Indian standards. I saw the bot in test mode, twice it made the mistake of overbidding. But we’ll iron this baby out before D-Day.
December 25th, 2004
I am pissed drunk. Merry fucking Christmas. We had several registrations gone south this past week. But the servers pulled through so the hardware is kick-ass now. Will have to start rolling out the beta. Everyone is talking about my company, I am on my way to fame and riches. That 5/3 in Malibu will be mine.
December 26th, 2004
I can’t believe this shit. That asshole Ramesh quit! I will cut his balls off if I lay my hands on him. He said he got an offer from Pool.com. Motherfuckers! Now I need to hire a local engineer, no time to train more Indians. I’m still sick from all the drinking yesterday.
December 30th, 2004
Yeah baby! Mason is the new developer, straight out of college. I told him what we are building here, an artificial intelligence enhancement for an online battling game. Stupid geek bought it. He will fix all the spaghetti code stupid Ramesh created. Come 2005 we will be ready to rock n’roll!
January 6th, 2005
We had a few tequilas with the guys after work at Gringas Locas. We decided to name the bot “Halvarez”. I had a good laugh telling stupid wetback jokes but Pedro, the GUI guy got pissed at us. We had fun, more drinks. I got a lap dance from Raxy, she’s hot as hell. Gave my boys the day off tomorrow. I need to set up the monitoring room. This will be awesome.
January 10th, 2005
OK, so the monitoring room is done, finished. Four servers: Halvarez1, Halvarez2, Pedro and Mamacita – two run the bidding software and two monitor the proxy bids, snipe attempts and all the crap live bidders try to pull off on us. Blows my mind seeing how easy it’s going to be. Just need to test the shit out of this rig and we’ll go live.
January 21st, 2005
More upgrades from Mason. This boy’s a genius. Now the “halvarez” script has gotten its final touches: human-like behavior. We want to be able to lose some auctions, win some. Get some variation into the “game”. Or customers might guess what is going on. Fuck it. I don’t care, those stupid domainers are bent over and their ass is mine.
January 29th, 2005
First test was great. “Halvarez” kicked ass, got into the auction when instructed, raised the bids when a certain threshold was crossed. We had 5 bidders going for the domain, went up to $1,850 in a matter of minutes – Halvarez pulled out a bit too soon but oh well. Who makes $1,850 that fast? Nobody. I can already taste the millions!
PART 2 – Coming soon – Stay tuned!
Lolll… Gringa’s Locas
Halvarez liked having some tacos after the shill bidding work was done.
OMG can’t wait for Part 2 and so forth! 😀 Hilarious.
Who do you think will play Nelson when the The Halvarez Diaries movie comes out?
Lucius, have you sold the movie rights yet?
Patrick, I am torn between Nicholas “Matchstick Men” Cage and Leonardo “Catch me if you can” DiCaprio 😀
“I am torn between Nicholas “Matchstick Men” Cage and Leonardo “Catch me if you can” DiCaprio”
Wow.
You picked two excellent choices.
I concur completely.
Hey wait a minute.
How about YOU???
“Hey wait a minute. How about YOU???”
“And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to:
Lucius Fabrice”
Announcer: “Accepting the award tonight for Lucius Fabrice, who is serving time in Federal Prison, is Nelson Brady”.
LOL Patrick, you have a sick sense of humor. You’re hired! 😀
“LOL Patrick, you have a sick sense of humor. You’re hired!”
Lucius,
Would I get paid in domains?
If yes, .COMs only please.
How about getting paid in Snapnames credit? Oh wait, maybe halvarez wasn’t the only one after all 😉
“How about getting paid in Snapnames credit?”
LOL.
So you want me to work for free?
I’d have to spend those credits quickly, I suspect.
—
“Patrick, you have a sick sense of humor.”
Guilty.
And that explains why I like DomainGang so much.
““How about getting paid in Snapnames credit?””
I also would accept Enron and WorldCom stock certificates.
Enron eh…was that a happy ending or what. Ken Lay and the lavish parties costing millions. Those were the days. Late 90’s until 2001. I lived it all. I have so many stories to tell that today’s corporate world pales in comparison with the dot com boom era. Ok back to the subject of Snapnames: should people take the blood money and run?
this makes me sick to my stomach…santa is bring him nothing but coal this year!
Phil, you’re right. And it’s not going to be coal.com either!