Steve Jobs is already in the iClouds but Apple is hiding the truth.
It’s a shocking revelation reminiscent of the 1989 movie, Weekend At Bernie’s – the dragging around of a Hawaiian shirt clad corpse being the main theme.
Steve Jobs, the Apple CEO, is in fact dead and his persona is being animated by sophisticated software, in order to preside over the upcoming Apple conference, later today.
An undated Wikileaks memo notes:
“Steve died last weekend, we need to come up with something before AAPL hits bottom. I propose to have him embalmed and stick wires controlled by ReAnimator software, at least until after the announcement of iCloud!”
Details about the new iCloud service by Apple will be revealed today; no-one knows for sure whether it’ll be a content hosting service like Amazon and IBM have been offering, or a gimmick for mac fanbois to spend more dollars on.
Meanwhile, there is no death certificate in the Wikileaks report about Steve Jobs that we could locate; the appearance of Steve Jobs does resemble, however, that of an animated corpse lately.
Conspiracy theorists cite the date of Steve Jobs demise to be May 13th, 2011 and that a considerable amount of effort has been put into covering up the fact that the Apple CEO is fully stuffed with preservatives.
