Open Letter to my MiniSite

Dear MiniSite,

We have been through a lot together, all five pages of your content and right side Adsense ads.

Today, after six months of holding my breath you finally registered a click. Not just any click. But your first click. I will mark this down as the official day of when you began to give back.

I don’t ask much; only to become the richest man alive by your presence. You were created as a monetary servant but instead you have acted like an ungrateful Wikipedia step child.

Enough is enough.

I have not decided if I shall go back to parking or try one of the other “make money now or your money back” guaranteed systems. You know, the push button WordPress crap that some monkeys call “minisite development”.

The ultimatum is this: If you do not perform as expected within one month I shall have to flip you.

Your ungrateful body will be paraded from the dusty domain bazaars of DNForum to the minisite slavery markets of NamePros. You will be sold, as a slave to a rich web developer, to do as they please with your shell and content.

Minisite, it’s your last chance to make it happen.

Bring me gold or bring me death: death to my PPC earnings, death to my portfolio value, death to the soul that makes me a man! For all that I have lived and dreamed of you, Minisite, all I beg in return is to make me the new Rick Schwartz – transform me into the new domain king of kings!

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Comments

9 Responses to “Open Letter to my MiniSite”
  1. John says:

    LOL funny read. Whoever thinks minisites are the answer to full fledged web development needs to have their head checked.

  2. Patrick McDermott says:

    Giovanni,

    I know from prior postings that Lucius pays you in bananas in lieu of the (formerly) almighty US $.

    Considering what is happening with the US $ that actually might not be a bad deal.

    Anyway, since you are paid in bananas it makes me wonder if that’s your photo above.

    if it is, I must say you keep yourself nicely groomed.

    And your eyes are very intense.

    ———

    “…make me the new Rick Schwartz – transform me into the new domain king of kings!”

    I’m sorry to have to tell you but that transition has already happened…but not for you.

    Rick Latona is the “new domain king of kings!”.

    Maybe if you change your name to Rick, you can inherit the title at some future date.

    Rick ‘Crazee’ Mossolini ???

  3. Giovanni 'Crazee' Mossolini says:

    Indeed, Patrick, that is a picture of myself. It was the days before I become a content writing slave for Domain Gang and forced into the basement of Lucius in exchange for bananas. But I cannot complain too much. I love bananas. You can do a lot with bananas: banana split, banana pie, banana bread, etc.

    The intensity in my eyes is a reflection of the passion I have to become the next Domain King. No, I do not need to change my name to “Rick”. I will force others in mass quantities to change their name to “Giovanni”: Giovanni Latona, Giovanni Schwartz, Giovanni Sarid, Giovanni Schilling. It is only a matter of time. I shall do this by the MiniSite concept. And if that does not work, I plan to conquer the Dinky Site: http://domaingang.com/domain-news/company-launches-the-dinky-site/ and therefore become Domain King and/or King of the ‘Lil Sites.

    Laugh now all you want. Even monkeys have dreams.

  4. Patrick McDermott says:

    “You can do a lot with bananas…”
    “…forced into the basement of Lucius in exchange for bananas.”

    Yes Giovanni but please be careful.

    If you’re in the basement too long you can actually “Go Bananas”.

    Definition of “go bananas” from Google:

    “* to become angry, crazy or silly (slang)”

    and this :
    en.wiktionary.org/wiki/go_bananas

    ” 1. (idiomatic) To go mad

    I just told her that she couldn’t have any pudding until she’d finished her main course, and she went bananas!”

    By the way, if you ever leave the basement and find your way to Thailand, the street vendor fried bananas are quite nice…and cheap!

  5. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    You guys think it’s all fun and games but bananas aside, minisite developers (or push button publishers) are in desperate need of education about what minisites can and what cannot do for them.

    Anyone promising automatic fame and riches via minisite development is lying through their teeth.

  6. BullS says:

    Anyone promising automatic fame and riches via minisite development is lying through their teeth.”

    I don’t have teeth anymore so I am always BSing .

  7. Anunt says:

    I also had that big dream of making millions from a mini-site on my domain name sax.com and it sure as hell didn’t work out the way i had planned!

  8. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    Anunt, I hear Bill Clinton likes sax a lot. He tried to show it to Monica Lewinsky but didn’t work out.

  9. BullS says:

    “forced into the basement of Lucius”

    WOW—you guys sure live kinky orgy….

    chains, leathers, whips ,creams…..Ouch

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