As it happens every time Apple launches their new piece of hardware, millions of Apple fanbois from around the world rejoiced early today – marking the official sale launch of the iPad.
Touted as a portable, touch-screen computer, the iPad appears to be nothing more than an oversized iPod Touch, once the magic dust settles.
Here’s a list of what the iPad does NOT have, in case you can make it past the Apple commercials and other such Das Apple propaganda, according to Gizmodo:
Big, Ugly Bezel
Have you seen the bezel on this thing?! It’s huge! I know you don’t want to accidentally input a command when your thumb is holding it, but come on.No Multitasking
This is a backbreaker. If this is supposed to be a replacement for netbooks, how can it possibly not have multitasking? Are you saying I can’t listen to Pandora while writing a document? I can’t have my Twitter app open at the same time as my browser? I can’t have AIM open at the same time as my email? Are you kidding me? This alone guarantees that I will not buy this product.No Cameras
No front facing camera is one thing. But no back facing camera either? Why the hell not? I can’t imagine what the downside was for including at least one camera. Could this thing not handle video iChat?Touch Keyboard
So much for Apple revolutionizing tablet inputs; this is the same big, ugly touchscreen keyboard we’ve seen on other tablets, and unless you’re lying on the couch with your knees propping it up, it’ll be awkward to use.No HDMI Out
Want to watch those nice HD videos you downloaded from iTunes on your TV? Too damned bad! If you were truly loyal, you’d just buy an AppleTV already.The Name iPad
Get ready for Maxi pad jokes, and lots of ’em!No Flash
No Flash is annoying but not a dealbreaker on the iPhone and iPod Touch. On something that’s supposed to be closer to a netbook or laptop? It will leave huge, gaping holes in websites. I hope you don’t care about streaming video! God knows not many casual internet users do. Oh wait, nevermind, they all do.Adapters, Adapters, Adapters
So much for those smooth lines. If you want to plug anything into this, such as a digital camera, you need all sorts of ugly adapters. You need an adapter for USB for god’s sake.It’s Not Widescreen
Widescreen movies look lousy on this thing thanks to its 4:3 screen, according to Blam, who checked out some of Star Trek on one. It’s like owning a 4:3 TV all over again!Doesn’t Support T-Mobile 3G
Sure, it’s “unlocked.” But it won’t work on T-Mobile, and it uses microSIMs that literally no one else uses.
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I thought this site was supposed to be “entertainment” and “parody”.
What’s up with all this serious reporting, anyway? Huh?
P.S. Love it anyways…
Adam – We’ve always been reporting mainstream news; always with a twist of humor. Thank you for your kind words and stay away from the iPad! 😀
Go ahead and spend the money—Obama loves you!!!!
Good for the economy.
Ahhh the it doesn’t have this reviews. When I bought the iPhone the same stories came out. Doesn’t have this, doesn’t have that. It didn’t even have Apps when I got the first, a billion dollars later it seems OK. I love the thing and even if it is an oversized iPhone it’s still easily worth $400. Apple can’t change the world with every device but they always do a better job than anyone else trying. And really, think of all the shit we’ve spent $400 on over the last few years. I guarantee this is better money spent thank some of the stupid domains I’ve bought for the same price. 🙂
I still can’t get over the impact of the picture of Steve Jobs holding the iPad 😀 Looks like a giant iPod 😀
You won’t find me using my pinkie to scroll the pictures!!!