Google guillotine. It’s coming.
Google announced the introduction of new portal code that trims the fat out of web site content, to make it appear more appealing on the iPhone.
Internally referred to as “Google guillotine“, the search improvisation removes web content that is deemed unnecessary, superfluous or otherwise conflicting with Google’s extended interest.
“Google crawls billions of web pages, and there is no reason to leave Google ever, to visit these pages if we can help it,” said Google VP of Structured Search, Boris Yeltzin.
“There are so many things to do at Google, such as, admire our Google doodle, or play hidden games, or search for copyrighted images and with Google guillotine we’ll be trimming down the unnecessary content on your behalf,” added Yeltzin.
Google guillotine works like this: when clicking on the search results, the HTML5 container will refresh to display the content you searched for, which will be condensed to 500 characters for the sake of brevity.
Long rants, lengthy comments, and lists that don’t contribute to the Google motto “Life is short, find it fast!” will be cropped out of the results.
If you are used to writing long, opinionated pieces of daily blog postings, share domain lists or use a lot of commas to prevent the effects of runaway sentences, your creative work and cranial output will become obsolete, as far as Google is concerned.
“Matt Cutts is still on a prolonged sabbatical and we are constantly looking for direction, inventing things to do – just kidding!” exclaimed Boris Yeltzin, smiling.
The Google guillotine search trimming will go into effect May 1st, so you have until then to delete your web site or find a job watering flowers.
