As I lay to sleep at night thinking of the day’s work and winding down from my long domainer day; a continual thought pops into my head each night: Can Chef Patrick really cook? Does his wife really get to enjoy the benefits of having her own personal cook in the house?
I did some digging to try and solve this mystery.
Evidence #1 – He depicts himself doing domestic chores in a comic.
I don’t know about you but I would not be caught dead unclogging the toilet for my wife. Unless I were a Chef, of course.
Evidence #2 – His advertisers support his image.
“Fresh” is a common term in cooking. I would also not allow my advertisers to use the words “Fresh” and “Drop” together unless it were a constipation relief company or unless I were a Chef, of course.
Evidence #3 – His main site at PatrickRuddell.com reflects split personality disorder.
Patrick does not see himself as an individual but the whole of three types of personalities as evidenced in the above screen shot. Also concerning is the caption of “Who is this Madman?“. (What if I met Patrick and he turned out to be normal?? Disappointing!). But look at personality #3: IT’S THE CHEF!
Evidence #4 – His videos make me hungry.
I have no idea why. But they do. And hunger is relevant to cooking. Therefore, it must be entered into evidence.
Evidence #5 – His wallpaper does, too.
Hmm. I don’t know. Anybody want eggs or something?
Evidence #6 – Uhh
Does Chef Patrick really cook? I don’t know. You should ask him. In the meantime, check out the NippleGate scandal.
I actually can cook, but only breakfast meals, that’s my specialty. I guess the cooking skills go back to my days managing a Waffle House.
Nowadays the only thing I’m dishing out is the domain news 🙂
You are a funny guy Theo! If domaining doesn’t work out for you, you can always try comedy, lol.
Patrick, now *that’s* a real scoop about the Waffle House! I want an order of triple pancakes with syrup please! 😀
But I didn’t write this, Giovanni “Crazee” Mossolini did.
😀 People still have not caught on we’re two separate people. Thanks, Chef but I am not Theo. I am the typing monkey in Lucius’ basement. 😐 Please send bananas.
haha! Funny article. Hey, Patrick: why aren’t you using PatrickRuddell.com as your main blog site?
“Can Chef Patrick Really Cook?”
Not too long ago I had the pleasure of being invited to Chef Patrick’s home for dinner.
My name is also Patrick and I really am a Chef.
The dinner menu Chef Patrick was cooking up was “Steak and Peas”.
I asked Chef Patrick if I could bring anything for the dinner and he asked me to bring
mashed potatoes (and a case of very expensive red wine) which I did.
So what happened?
When dinner was served , aside from the mashed potatoes which I had brought, there was
a single green pea on my plate.
Okay maybe the pea was married, I don’t know but there was just one pea.
One!
I asked Chef Patrick ” What happened to the steak?”.
Chef Patrick replied, “It’s under the pea”.
Since I do need to lose weight, this was fine by me….as long as the wine kept coming. 🙂
I can safeky say Chef Patrick really can cook but he does a minimalist type of cuisine.
By the way to my great delight, Anishya was our sommelier for the evening and there is
absolutely nothing minimalist about her…if you catch my drift.
Gee, I wonder what color her eyes are.
Patrick, that’s a lucullian dinner. I hope you had a soda afterwards to digest the mass quantities of food cooked by the Chef.
lmao…i’m just catching up on these comments.
tia, i’m trying to acquire my name “patrick” by itself for my next blog. that’s all i can say right now 🙂