Big Joe Bubba is patiently awaiting for Nelson "Halvarez" Brady at San Quentin federal prison
After news about Nelson “Halvarez” Brady broke all over the domain blogosphere, we took the liberty to interview a potential future cellmate of Halvarez – Big Joe Bubba.
Big Joe Bubba is currently incarcerated in the San Quentin federal prison, after he was sentenced to 20 years for manslaughter, multiple sodomy, arson and grand theft auto.
At 325lbs and 6ft 4″ tall, Big Joe Bubba looks like the perfect cellmate for an intelligent, soft-spoken corporate engineer like Halvarez.
“Big Joe Bubba, we heard you’re looking forward to spending several years with Nelson “Halvarez” Brady in San Quentin.”
“Yeah. Can’t wait for that little bitch to come on over. I get lonely at night and I get tired humping my pillow. After a while, the feathers spill out. Man, can’t wait for that sweetmeat Halvarez.”
“Is it true that San Quentin is really tough? Why do they call it ‘PMITA’? “
“Don’t know huh? It means “pound me in the ass” prison. And that’s what happens here, my man. Halvarez drops the soap in the showers? He gets cornholed before he can blink twice. It’s the law of the bigger man, you hear?”
“Surely that’s some undue punishment. The guy isn’t that big of a crook. At least not compared to Bernie Madoff.”
“Ha! No shit. And you know, I don’t care. When Nelson comes to San Quentin he will get constant tea-bagging, you know? And it’s not an import from India. No sir. That motherf*cker will taste some California grass right off my balls!”
“Hmm okay, Big Joe Bubba. You’re the man. Anything you want to share with our readers?”
“Yeah. You do the crime, you do the time. It’s the law. And the law in my cell is that you get to be my bitch. So kids, watch out and play safe or Big Joe Bubba will come and get you!”
San Quentin isn’t a Federal Prison. It’s a State Prison.
Big Joe Bubba watch out, there are others willing to snipe bid for Halvarez’s company.
The turned SQ into a federal facility to accommodate Big Joe Bubba. It’s true.
Bubba, what’s that smell? oh my…put that down, wash your hands!
““Is it true that San Quentin is really tough? Why do they call it ‘PMITA’? “
“Don’t know huh? It means “pound me in the ass” prison.”
I just regged PMITA.com , PoundMeInTheAss.com and BigJoeBubba.com.
For good measure I also regged PoundMeInMyAss.com and ILoveBigJoeBubba.com..
Thanks!!!
P.S. If Big Joe Bubba wants BigJoeBubba.com., just say so.
No “pounding” needed.
Well done, Patrick. Although Big Joe Bubba knows little about domains, he prefers to be the master of his domain. Careful there or Big Joe Bubba might let Nelson go free.
I’ve been sentenced for a D.U.I. offense. My 3rd one. When I first came to prison, I had no idea what to expect. Certainly none of this. I’m a tall white male, who unfortunately has a small amount of feminine characteristics. And very shy. These characteristics have got me raped so many times I have no more feelings physically. I have been raped by up to 5 black men and two white men at a time. I’ve had knifes at my head and throat. I had fought and been beat so hard that I didn’t ever think I’d see straight again. One time when I refused to enter a cell, I was brutally attacked by staff and taken to segragation though I had only wanted to prevent the same and worse by not locking up with my cell mate. There is no supervision after lockdown. I was given a conduct report. I explained to the hearing officer what the issue was. He told me that off the record, He suggests I find a man I would/could willingly have sex with to prevent these things from happening. I’ve requested protective custody only to be denied. It is not available here. He also said there was no where to run to, and it would be best for me to accept things . . . . I probably have AIDS now. I have great difficulty raising food to my mouth from shaking after nightmares or thinking to hard on all this . . . . I’ve laid down without physical fight to be sodomized. To prevent so much damage in struggles, ripping and tearing. Though in not fighting, it caused my heart and spirit to be raped as well. Something I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for.
^ Someone watches too much OZ ^
Did 2 years for aggravated assault when I was 19. It’s absolutely, positively nothing like you see on TV and everyone I’ve ever talked to who did time agrees with this.
ah yes let him call my lawyer for help at:
Michael J. Aschenbrener | KamberEdelson LLC
350 N. LaSalle St., Suite 1300
Chicago, IL 60654
1.312.589.6379 (direct) | 1.312.589.6370 (firm) | 1.312.589.6378 (fax)
maschenbrener@kamberedelson.com | http://www.kamberedelson.com