Desperate call to 911 by distraught domainer lands a sale

Billy Rae Richardson had a rough year thus far: his wife of 8 years divorced him, he is about to lose his house to the bank and most important, he hasn’t pitched a domain sale in the entire 2009.

But all this changed after a single phonecall.

On a foggy November morning, Billy Rae was on the verge of suicide and he called the 911 emergency hotline.

We obtained the 911 tape transcript of this amazing domain incident and we present it below.

911 – What is your emergency?

I… I dont’ feel well. Feel like fading away.

Sir, what is going on, are you ok?

No, I feel like a failure. My wife left me, I’m about to lose my house to the creditors.

Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself?

Yes, I feel like deleting my entire domain portfolio, it’s worthless.

Sir, calm down. Are you alone at this time?

Alone? I’m never alone. All these people on the domain forums keep me company.

Sir, are there any weapons in the house, where are you right now? What is your name and street address?

No, there are no weapons. I’m a computer engineer, a geek. I don’t use weapons, except for that light saber. I’m at [address deleted] in Oregon. My name’s Billy.

Ok sir, got that. Now, while we’re dispatching a unit out please tell me about your domain portfolio.

I don’t know. I hate my life. I sold my best domains to a guy named Hank Alvarez who resold them to a company called iReit…for millions. Millions! That money could have been mine.

Well sir, I’m sure there are plenty of opportunities out there. My wife’s second cousin twice removed sold a couple of domains last month on GoDaddy.com and made some good money. There is hope. Hang in there.

[unintelligible noise]

Sir, are you ok? Please stay with me.

Yes, I’m ok, was just looking through the printout of my domain portfolio. I have to sell a few, today. Before they expire. All at GoDaddy. I have SpecialNeedsTrafficVictim.com … SafariManAlone.net … MondayFriday5Oclock.com and some more. Oh and ConstabularyTeam.tel although I’ve been told this is completely worthless. [more unintelligible noise]

Well sir, stay with me here. Let’s see. Yes, the .tel is worthless, but don’t let that discourage you. You have some nice .com domains. Even the .net is not bad. Um. Do you have anything related to pets?

[rustling paper noise]

Let me see. Sure. I have Pets4LoversOfPets.com and OhMyDogMyDogMyDog.com – I don’t know what else. I am so desperate right now. I feel like jumping off the roof!

OK sir, here’s the deal. Stay with me and I will buy your pet domains, ok? Stay with me and the unit will be there in a few minutes. Everything is going to be ok. How much for the pet domains?

Um….I don’t know. But you can make me an offer via Sedo. com if you want them.

Sir, I don’t know what Sedo.com is. Do you have a BIN in mind? I used eBay in the past. Can you put them on eBay with a BIN so that I can buy them?

Sure. I can do that. My eBay auctions don’t make much. Usually a buck or two. I’ll put them on eBay. My handle is domainer4domainers2sell. When are you going to place a bid?

Sir, as soon as I get access to my eBay account, this is 911 you know, can’t surf the Net while I do my job. But you got it, I will buy your pet domains at the BIN.

Oh thank you so much… thank you. This will be my first sale of 2009. Ok, auction is up. The BIN is $800 for both domains.

Sir, $800 bucks for these domains? I think that’s a bit too pricey. Is the 911 unit there yet?

Are you renegging on me? You said you’d buy at the BIN. I think that’s not cool to reneg on an auction. Now I feel like jumping off the roof!

Sir, ok, ok, that’s fine, $800 dollars. Sold. Damn it, sold. You have a sale, OK? Just stay with me for a while.

[sirens in the background]

I think they are here. Don’t fool me, ok? I will be waiting for your bid at eBay. I need to make a sale.

No sir, I will be bidding as soon as I get home. I promise. You have a sale. Sold at BIN. Now go open the door for the 911 unit to enter, ok?

Yeah. Thanks. Wow. Really thanks. Woohoo! $800 bucks!

[hangs up]

[loud cussing by the 911 operator]

[end of tape]

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Comments

8 Responses to “Desperate call to 911 by distraught domainer lands a sale”
  1. Aron says:

    Well done 🙂 Good job.

    – Aron

  2. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    I wonder if this is our final resort to reaching out to domain end-user buyers? 😀

  3. The 911 operator knows how Halvarez did it, so does he…

  4. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    By now, probably everyone in the world knows about Hank Alvarez. I wonder if any more tapes will be leaked.

  5. John says:

    Hilarious!!

  6. Greg says:

    Did the funds clear for the domains?
    I was just wondering.
    Ddo you think she would take some more domains. I’m not afraid of new approaches and would offer a fair BIN. Thanks for the laugh

  7. Gnanes says:

    lol great joke.

  8. Poor Uncle says:

    R U mocking me?

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