Father Domainicus : My visit to the Sour Candy factory

Love is the only way to salvation, says Father Domainicus.

Greetings and salutations, my brothers and sisters in domaining; this is Father Domainicus with a special sermon on this fine and sunny hump day.

Many a moon ago, domain investors congregating to the local Florida chapter of our Domain Church, expressed their gratitude, after the event was over.

Sending samples of sweet candy was a nice gesture. Those days, domainers shared love and kindness, and granulated sugar has a soothing effect, when consumed, preferably alongside Colombian coffee or herbal tea from Thailand and Malaysia.

Oh, how have times changed since.

These days, as I peruse our daily publication, I see nothing but news filled with resentment that lack humility. I witness discussions overflowing with angst and anger and anxiety. I see lost sheep, on their way to certain peril in the scorching desert.

How my heart bleeds and cries, my domaining children! The sourness is stomach-churning.

Some time ago, I decided to see which evil factory creates these sentiments, and it seems that the Sour Candy factory is responsible. I took a short trip there, to document the process of generating such negativity.

To produce sour candy, thousands of pounds of vinegar, acid and glucose are mixed with bad, salty water. Tumbled over and over in rusty, copper canisters, this noxious, gooey mix is brought to above boil, and sent to a variety of casts to form sour candy.

When consumed, sour candy sticks to your teeth, your gums and your esophagus; it fills your stomach, your guts and coats your colon. It cannot be scraped off or washed off, unless you follow the words of our Domain Lord.

Said He, in Domainclessiastes 1:2

“Vanity of vanities – Oh vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”

It is indeed the key to all decision-making in life, that there is an end to it all.

Allow me to expand on this, using words of our trade.

No matter how large and virile your domain portfolio is, it shall all come to an end once your soul’s bodily vessel of flesh expires on this earth. Why poison your life’s short span – as compared to the vastness of our cosmos created by the Domain Lord – with sour candy and hateful words that demean others?

My beloved brothers and sisters, it is time to make a conscious decision and share nothing but good, sweet, loving, meaningful words with others. Do not let the evil serpent lead you to the phosphorus-laden depths of hell. Save your heart and soul from eternal damnation!

Until we meet again, I remain yours in brotherly love,

~ Father Domainicus.

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