Jean-Claude Van Damme, back in the day.
GoDaddy recently rebranded, introducing 80’s actor Jean-Claude Van Damme back from celluloid obscurity.
The Belgian martial artist and actor stars as the provider of “kick ass” services at GoDaddy, using the tag line “It’s go time.”
Alas, with all this sudden return to activity in his 50’s, Jean-Claude Van Damme suffered some painful injuries to his jewels.
“Jean-Claude is currently recuperating from over-stretching and doing the splits for several hours during the creative shooting,” said Frank Pappadides of GoDaddy.
“After applying lots of ice to the affected muscles and soft tissue, he is experiencing some persistent pain and lots of discomfort to his, umm, genitals,” added Pappadides.
Testicular pain due to muscle stretching or direct blows to the area, ranks among the top three most painful things a human can experience, physically. Other top pains include the one experienced from nipple twisting, and from stumping one’s little toe against the bed post early in the am.
Jean-Claude Van Damme’s insurance will most definitely cover all expenses related to his brief stay at the Sammamish Regional Hospital, but GoDaddy might have to pay him a bonus and increase his wages for the next round of ball-splitting commercials about domain names.
