Paranoid domainer nervous at domain conferences

Not everyone can claim to be the life of social gatherings, such as domain name conferences; Stuart Benz has another good reason not to be a “social butterfly.”


“Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with multiple acute paranoia, I cannot turn my back to anything including my own reflection in the mirror,” said Benz, a domainer from Michigan.

“It’s hard for me to register domains without first pushing against a wall, shielded from everyone and at domain conferences people perceive this to be a little odd,” added Benz, sweating at the forehead.

Years of therapy for what is essentially a genetic miscofiguration of the inner structural cores of the brain, have improved Benz’s responsiveness, but there is still a lot of progress to be made.

“I thought about bringing my mom to the next TRAFFIC conference in Vegas, but some people might think I suffer from Oedipus complex as well – which is not the case!” exclaimed Benz.

“Perhaps I should try to find a father figure because it affects my aggressiveness as perceived by others, especially when I register domains 24/7” added Benz, swallowing hard.

Paranoia and other conditions cannot be cured, but can most definitely be controlled, particularly when in the presence of large crowds where you have to look pleasant and at your best; domain conferences are the ultimate tests for domainers with social anxiety or the inability to have honest conversations without hyperventilating or sweating profusely.

It is estimated that as many as 8% of domain investors suffer from some type of paranoia, including severe forms that lead to making rushed decisions.

If you suspect that your circle of friends or relatives suffers due to your inexplicably paranoid behavior, it’d be advisable to see a physician under the new Obamacare plan; it’s most likely a business expense when attending TRAFFIC, NamesCon or Domainfest.


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