Allow me to light up a cigarette because, just like in the noir movies this is serious business. And please don’t mind my shaky hands, but I’m all upset, still.
It all started this morning, when I received a call from the South Texas Farmers Union. Some fella by the name of Jim Zikaridopoulos started blasting my ears off with his Texan drawl.
“Hey y’all is this Anunt?”
I had to put my buttered toast down, take a quick sip from my coffee and reply.
“Not sure about y’all, but this is Anunt. How can I help you?”
Texas Jim – the fella with the weird last name – was surely a sweet talker.
“Well Anunt, we’ll be launching our new web site soon and need your domain, STFU.com y’all. You sell it, I reckon?”
Had to take another sip from my coffee over that “reckon” part but quickly recovered.
“Why yes, STFU.com is indeed for sale but it’s not going to go cheap. South Texas Farmers Union, you said?”
Texas Jim kept yapping my ears off.
“Sure thing partner, so how many dollars do you want for STFU.com? Give us your price – one hundred, two hundred?”
I was definitely getting antsy with this morning call. My domain name, STFU.com was for sale but not for a couple hundred dollars!
“Listen Jim, STFU.com is not some cheap piece of property. Tell the boys at the South Texas Farmers Union STFU.com is one premium domain. I have better things to do with my time and my domain!”
Boy, was I furious. But Texas Jim didn’t break a sweat.
“No problem, partner, no worries. But how much you want for STFU.com – three hundred? The most we can do is offer you three hundred and fifty, I reckon.”
That was the last straw, hearing “I reckon” twice set me off like a Fourth of July firecracker.
“STFU Jim! STFU! I am not selling it to you for peanuts! Leave me alone and go about your morning business, g@sh d#rn it!“
Texas Jim seemed to be quite thick in the head, for the last words I heard were shocking:
“Anunt, sure thing. If three hundred and fifty thousand ain’t enough for ya, we won’t be dealing with you in the future. Good luck, partner!”
And with those words, he hang up.
I was left there, frozen, unable to move, realizing that his offers were counting thousands of dollars. I had lost the chance to sell STFU.com for a crazy amount of money.
I needed a stiff drink and quickly. That, and a listing of STFU.com in the CAX Newsletter.
hahahahaaa…LOL
Wow that sucks..
Hahahaaa! Cracked me open! 🙂 Good job!
Anunt – STFU!
Steve J. – STFU!
Stian – STFU!
😀
Make me laugh! 🙂 Nice story… but to bad for you did not get it right number y’all…
All Texas boys in all old stories can shoot …