If you’re panicking about toilet paper, the quintessential method of wiping after going for number two, we feel for you.
Anal hygiene, the act of cleaning up after defecating, has been a human practice for thousands of years. In ancient Greece, leaves, clothing, and fragments of ceramic pottery were used. The Romans used a communal sponge rinsed in a bucket of salt water or vinegar after use – which is why diseases spread wide in Rome.
Yikes. So what about toilet paper, or TP for short?
It seems that the Chinese invented it.
(Long pause to ponder this exact fact.)
TP.com – It’s about toilet paper, Trump & Pence. Photo by Michael Jasmund on Unsplash
According to ToiletPaperHistory.net:
“In the 2nd century BC Chinese invented wrapping and padding material known as paper. There are many evidences that confirm that they used that paper like toilet paper too. In the 6th century CE toilet paper was widely used in China. Historically the first modern toilet paper was made in 1391, when it was created for the needs of the Chinese Emperor family. Each sheet of toilet paper was even perfumed.”
And now back to modern times.
If we were to be locked down in a Coronavirus quarantine, how long would we survive with our current toilet paper inventory? If only there was a calculator – but wait, there is one!
HowMuchToiletPaper.com attempts to give an answer based on various parameters:
How many rolls we have, how many times we visit the bathroom, and even take into account how many times we’d wipe, the sheets per wipe and roll, and the length of our quarantine.
Perfect. Ten rolls of toilet paper will last you 53 days, if you’re super regular at 3 times daily. So stay away from eating curry chicken and you should be fine.
Bidet sales have been shooting off the roof….I mean shooting right in your &^%*( which is a good thing
BullS – That’s great, but can you haul a bidet with you to the woods by the trail?
I grew up w/o toilet paper, we squat behind a tree and use grass or leaves .
Tip- you all better learn how to squat, use 2 pieces of logs or any platforms to step on and this elevates your B*&utt and dig a small hole.
Please fill the hole up when done, it is like putting down the toilet seat.
I do this all the time when I go camping, fishing and sometimes in my garden(some of the fertilizers found in nurseries are mixed human compost)
BullS – Thanks for sharing all this post-apocalyptic wisdom! See you at the nearest cave.