Bina Bitterman: Before my 5th Avenue shopping I feel sorry for domainers

Directnic

What a fabulous day, domainer darlings.

This is Bina Bitterman, your very own Domain Socialite, bringing glamor and quality of life to your miserable lives.

It’s Saturday after the Black Friday, the day I usually do most of my holiday shopping alongside 5th Avenue, here in New York.

Most of you penny-pinchers have no idea what it means to drop $60k on a Hermes Birkin, no wonder you are looking for good deals on those domain toys of yours.

As a former senior editor of Frubs Magazine, I often pondered how extraordinarily depressing it must feel to be born poor.

Bina Bitterman will be attending NamesCon.

Bina Bitterman will be attending NamesCon.

I understand that some of you might lose your shirts trading domains, at least make an effort and buy a Daniel Buchler crew neck t-shirt, only $105 after discount.

Those Black Friday deals leave me completely uninterested, and utterly bored.

I do not, for the life of me, understand how Frank Schilling, a great man otherwise, wants to introduce dot .BlackFriday to consumers. At least, I hope this new gTLD will not be used to broadcast live fights from the despicable Wal-Mart arenas; that would be so ghetto.

Frank, darling, I admire your choice of dark silk shirts and you do pass the Liberace ring test with flying colors, nothing extravagant there. Very classy, indeed – if only most domainers had your taste in accessorizing for a domain conference.

Speaking of conferences, I received a media pass for NamesCon in Las Vegas. After checking my calendar, the dates between January 13-15, 2014 are surprisingly available, as I am a busy woman otherwise.

I will be most definitely attending, to report on the latest fashions during this spectacular Sin City event.

A reminder that the NamesCon ticket price is just $199 today, and goes up to $399 tomorrow. The opening party on Monday (6:30pm – 9pm) will be hosted by .XYZ at the Tropicana, and the Tuesday night party will be at the Havana Room at the Tropicana from 8pm-midnight.

Be forewarned, darlings: if you hit the Strip clubs wearing white shirts, looking like a deli baker, you end up glowing in the dark, so black is the color de nuit.

As a subtle hint, that many uncultured among you might not pick up elegantly, being a young, professional divorcée in my early 40’s might make me irresistible; however, I will not be reduced to what is referred to as a “cougar”. Such vulgarities are best saved for your after-hours fantasies about hitting the slot machine jackpot and making out with a mature lady executive inside the Bellagio elevator.

And on such a note, I shall now depart for my 5th Avenue shopping. If you do happen to notice me, please stay at least 10 feet away and no paparazzi without an appointment, please. Call my assistant first.

Au revoir, until our next Saturday rendezvous – stay classy, only drink French champagne.

~ Bina Bitterman.

 

 


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Comments

One Response to “Bina Bitterman: Before my 5th Avenue shopping I feel sorry for domainers”
  1. Louise says:

    That was good.

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