A sobering new report unveils a grim future for domain investing in the 22nd century.
In the next 100 years, domainers will face a series of challenges, some of which will be very hard to overcome.
The latest Internet Reboot Report presents its scientifically researched analysis, along with raw data on domain name investing, spanning 18 months of trends in the domain industry.
Among the findings on the future of domain name investing:
- Global rise in temperatures, all while Chip prices will continue to drop in an inverse curve
- Continuous introduction of at least 100 new gTLDs per two year period
- Substantial increase of .com and .net prices, as Verisign secures exclusive contracts for the coming century
- Psychological warfare: constant reminder of the “good old days” by semi-retired domainers
- Mergers and acquisitions of pioneer services by industry monoliths, such as GoDaddy
- Unblockable logo and SEO call centers in India and China
- ICANN surrendering US interests to Eurocrat bureaucrats; GDPR 2.0 will eliminate all American businesses
- Bad morning breath, and eventual death
Survive the domain future – Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash
“Most domain investors pretend there are no challenges looming along the way, but that’s such a terrible fallacy,” said Steve Karapiperis of the Internet Reboot Institute, gesticulating in a very serious manner.
“Our analysis defines the parabolic trend across several petabytes of domain data, traffic, PPC payouts, and domain sales, extrapolated into the next century. Predicting the worst case scenario is a good start to making changes in a seemingly unavoidable future,” added Karapiperis.
Simply put, most domain investors trading domain names today, will be deceased in the second half of the 21st century.
According to experts, in 100 years from now, technology might allow for the bodily preservation of domain investors, eager and able to spend a substantial portion of their domain earnings, to prolong their life span.
“Technically, immortality is attainable, once we have enough data about mitochondrial DNA and able to switch your data into a semi-woke state, all while your domains continue to produce sales and parking revenue,” said Steve Karapiperis, adding: “As long as your domains aren’t complete crap, you should be able to create substantial domain wealth even after death.”
If you’re not concerned about the next 100 years as a professional domain investor and the future of this planet, you’re either rich, or an insensitive bastard with no empathy.
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