Despite double-digit attendance, the Septik ConMan2010 conference in Chicago was a complete success.
The participants were treated nicely, with beer, salami and cheese sammiches being the delicacy of the day. An in-depth analysis of the “fear and loathing” related to domain parking kicked off the conference.
Septik Corporation President and CEO, Sid Kraken addressed the crowds of future developers:
“My friends, rest assured, we are here to shift the paradigm of domain parking. We will take them down with our developed hyperplatform, the UCMS – Uber CMS! After you attend ConMan2010 you will all be qualified developers, I promise you this!”
During these two days, Septik demonstrated a plethora of monetization methods with the Septik range of dynamic templates being the primary focus. Questions unrelated to Septik’s own products were placed on hold until those who asked them left the room.
The speakers of the ConMan2010 conference included Jim Jones, CEO of Grouperion – an MLM startup that is aimed at wannabe developers and market affiliates who are looking to double their pennies currently receiving via Septik’s UCMS platform. Other speakers included Stu Fluffer, Raymond LeBond and Tisha McNuggins, all expert developers according to the conference’s glossy brochure.
Septik Corporation CEO, Sid Kraken thanked the attendants for driving, flying or walking their way to Chicago. As a closing joke, he reminded everyone that while Chicago is known as the windy city, there is no hot air in the Septik model of success through UCMS development. A lot of applause followed this joke but many did not understand what he meant.
Finally, the last four hours of the ConMan2010 Septik conference were allocated to Nigerian-style auction bidding: whoever offers the most money via email and manages to get the domain without paying, wins!
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I LOLed with the uber cms 😀
Lucius,
I think you need a good spanking.
I’d give it to you but you’d probably enjoy it too much.
🙂
Pete – that’s not even the funniest part.
Tric – you’re seeing things 😀
“Tric – you’re seeing things ”
Nothing new.
🙂
‘—))))))))))))
wallowing on floor again , thanks to domaingang
>> Pete – that’s not even the funniest part.
then , where’s the funniest part. ??
thanks , 2w
>> there is no hot air in the Septik model of success through UCMS
what do u mean by “ hot air ” ?
thanks , 2w
after v paid that full amount$ to “Septik” ,
then ,
they did not & do not communicate w/ us any more , up2now ,
they do even ______not______ tell us how to set up ,
they do even ______not______ provide us any custommer-service ,
they do even ______not______ respond our any query ,
no user’s-manual ,
nothing , simply
nothing ,
no thing ,
v know nothing about – how v get paid ,
v know nothing about – when v get paid ,
v know nothing about any thing ,
v know nothing ,
nothing , simply
nothing ,
no thing
????????????
but ,
v have paid that full amount$ to “Septik”
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
please teach us how to deal w/ them
thanks , 2w
How do I get invited??
Very creative post 🙂
I don’t live that far from Chicago so this is an event I could have attended, unlike those held on the coasts or other countries. But as i read this post, I had to check the date to make sure it was not April 1st…!
I have not heard of this company before, but when I read the part about “Questions unrelated to Septik’s own products were placed on hold until those who asked them left the room.” it sounded like if I asked a question they didn’t like it would not be discussed until I was safely gone. That is not an event I would care to be apart of and the low attendance numbers “double diget” seem to be stated to hide the poor attendance. Well, we know at least 10 people were there, but how many staff members? Sorry to poke fun at a company I don’t know, but this could be a good way to get publicity as a start up. Hold non-events and say a lot of things, well to get people talking about you. 🙂
nice, Nigerian auction style 😀