Appraiso: Morgan Linton’s big fat Greek Domain App

Morgan Linton reached for a chocolate mint cookie and a glass of skim milk.

As he munched on the fabulous cookie his beloved fiancée had baked earlier, the cuckoo clock chimed 10:00pm.

“Gosh darn it, “he mumbled, rubbing his eyes that had turned red from too much research on the computer. “Is it really 10 o’clock already?”

Morgan had been busy all day, trying to find a name worthy of his newest project, a domain appraisal company unlike anything else.

Stacks of crumbled paper on the floor denoted all the failed attempts to come up with a creative, positive and memorable name.

It also had to be available as a .com because there was no budget left for a pricey acquisition. His planned wedding would eat up a lot of financial resources and there was no room for five figure purchases on Sedo, the way he used to spend cash lavishly in his bachelor days.

Morgan scratched his head. He was getting desperate, the kind of creative despair that strikes one when they are low on caffeine or chocolate, or both.

He munched on yet another cookie and all of a sudden, he had an idea.

“My friend Lucius has always had some brilliant ideas in the past,” he thought. “Maybe he can suggest something.”

Morgan picked up the phone and dialed Lucius’s phone number, without realizing the time difference.

As the phone rang on the other end, Morgan expected to hear the happy, energetic voice of Lucius, but what he heard instead was a grumpy, sleepy grunt.

Lucius picked up the phone, having awaken from its loud ringing. The gigantic digital clock on the wall said 1:03 AM. He scratched his balls through his underwear and moved the covers to the side.

“Hello? Who the **** is this? Morgan? Are you insane, it’s one in the morning, dude!”

Morgan apologized profusely – in reality, he didn’t give a toss about the time difference of three hours. All he wanted, was Lucius to unleash his creativity.

“Lucius, sorry man, I’m in a tight situation here. I need you to come up with a name for my new company that appraises domains. Every single one I researched was taken: Appraise.com, Valuate.com, even Estibot.com are all taken by competitors. What to do?”

Lucius rubbed his eyes and sat upright in bed. In the quiet of the night, getting a call like that could only mean trouble. But Morgan Linton was a good friend.

“OK Morgan, listen, you want a dot .com right? Why don’t you buy one? I have to get up early in the am to be in line for the new Apple iPad HD – or 3, whatever the heck they decide to call this thing.”

Morgan explained his financial situation and Lucius wasn’t too happy. He now had to come up with something.

He went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet to gather his thoughts and be productive in more than one way. A stack of books were laying nearby, for those moments when constipation kicked in.

Lucius opened up his Greek dictionary, a relic from his grandfather’s research into the literary works of the Greeks. He opened the book at the Alpha letter and flipped the pages, running his index finger down the entries.

“Aeolus…Analysis…Aparanthus…Apollonic…wtf, none of these seem to work.”

He was about to give up when what appeared to be dirt trapped under his index fingernail was the last word on the page: Appraizo.

APPRAIZO: Verb/transitive: To weigh, evaluate or identify the value, worth or price of property or achievements. First recorded use in the Odyssey by the Homer: “…appraizo thy soul, men of valor, for the walls of Troy now befallen hold no value worthy of the Greek spirit…”

“That’s it! That’s it! Morgan, eureka! Eureka! I found it,” screamed Lucius to the phone.  Morgan Linton was ecstatic, appraizo was a great word but the zeta made it less appealing.

“How about Appraiso, with an ‘S’,” he asked Morgan. “Would that be better and is it available to register?”

Morgan took two minutes to look up the domain, which seemed like eternity for Lucius.

“Why, yes, it is!” Morgan said. “I love you man, that’s perfect. I just registered Appraiso.com and will use this for my domain appraisal business. I owe you one, Lucius! Good night!”

Lucius put down the phone and went back to bed, happy that Morgan Linton’s new business, Appraiso.com, would be a sure success. There would be hundreds of new users from day one, for sure, as Morgan’s a smart guy.

He smiled and quickly allowed himself to fall into the hands of Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep.

Suddenly, he sat up in bed, cursing.

“Shit,” he exclaimed. “I forgot to wash my hands after using the potty!”

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