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Bastard buyer : Tales of a staunch and unethical #domain negotiator

Bastard buyers make domain inquiries that start off with a great prospect, they even make an offer that gets accepted by the seller – then things progressively get worse.

We reached out to one of them, and he agreed to talk to us about his bastard buyer techniques, as long as his identity is not disclosed. We’ll just refer to him as a “bastard domain buyer.”

Here are the secrets of the bastard buyer’s negotiation process:

DomainGang: You’re making a lot of domain sellers angry. What is your purpose?

Bastard Domain Buyer: My purpose? Bro, I want to buy domains really cheap. That’s what everyone wants, right?

DomainGang: Yes, but you seem to flip flop a lot. You agree on a domain’s price, and then what happens?

Bastard Domain Buyer: Well, it depends. If I make an offer, it’s always in the form of “my budget is $1,500 dollars.” I never actually say, I offer $1,500 bucks.

DomainGang: So you make the seller believe you do. When they take that offer and send the domain to Escrow, you don’t agree to the terms.

Bastard Domain Buyer: Exactly. What’s wrong with that? I don’t want to agree to the terms. I want to negotiate. And I squeeze them out of every dollar that I can.

DomainGang: Isn’t this unethical? You come across as a phuckstick, a bastard, a dickhead. Who wants to do business with you?

Bastard Domain Buyer: LOL. You’d be surprised how low they are willing to drop the price after I tell them that my budget changed, or that my imaginary boss’s budget has been redefined. I have no problem lying, it’s for a good cause.

DomainGang: You can’t be serious, there are many domain investors that consider this a major dick move. Your word is your bond, and you should honor it!

Bastard Domain Buyer: Yeah bro, keep on dreaming! I am in no need of being told how the world spins. I’m here to make money – and I am not going to leave dough on the table.

DomainGang: You can’t tell me that sellers will sell when you tell them that. What if they did the same, in the middle of an agreement came back with a higher price?

Bastard Domain Buyer: Well, if they did that, they’d be an ass I guess, LOL. Listen, I am not here to preach ethics, it’s a dog eat dog world bro.

DomainGang: I bet you made a lot of money as a kid stealing other kids’ lunches. Or started fires. Or lied to the teacher that the dog ate your homework.

Bastard Domain Buyer: Actually, I had a pretty straight and boring childhood. But if it works for you to see me in that light…

DomainGang: You are a bastard domain buyer, for sure. Happy holidays, Mr. Grinch.

Bastard Domain Buyer: Same to you. Now let me talk to my boss about their new budget for the domain and I’ll get back to you.

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