Dot .com will recover from its coma, according to Verisign.
Verisign, managers of both the .com and the .net domain name space, vehemently denied rumors that dot .com is dead, earlier today.
“Our latest hospital report clearly shows that dot .com is alive, despite its current comatose status,” exclaimed Verisign spokesman, Varth Dader.
“There is definitely some brain activity, there is a pulse, and the patient is breathing on their own – we are simply awaiting for them to recover from the Registry-induced coma,” added Vader, shuffling the hospital papers around.
Millions of dot .com domains have been registered since the late 80’s, at a time that the Internet was simply a glimpse in the eye of former US Vice President, Al Gore.
With most of the good names already taken, several hundred thousand domains expire daily, being recycled ad nauseam by domain speculators seeking liquidity. Most are being parked and not developed.
Other domain investors are opting to establish domain rebranding by adopting one of thousands of new gTLDs that will become available in the coming years – some as early as in January 2014.
“It will never happen in our watch,” said Varth Dader, denying allegations that dot .com has become our fathers’ TLD.
“Our government-blessed contracts get renewed every six years and we make sure the Internet is functioning the way it’s supposed to, this dot .whatever baloney is not going to be adopted by anyone!” exclaimed Dader, breathing heavily.
Meanwhile, reports show that 5th Avenue activists are considering domains to be wasteful, illiquid assets, so an uphill battle will need to be fought by the dot .com – as soon as it returns from its artificial coma.
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