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Microsoft launches Anti-Panda tool to target Google

Catched.com

Microsoft Halkyon - the patch that will thwart Google Panda.

Got hammered by the Google Panda and Google Panda 2.0 update?

Did your “content farm” lose 99% of its traffic due to Big Brother Google deciding what’s good for the masses out there?

Fear no more!

Microsoft – the original “Evil” corporation is back and this time they are about to save your virtual derriere from Google’s priapic phallus!

Code-named “Halkyon“, the new Anti-Panda tool is a brilliant upgrade from Microsoft, which still provides 90% of the world’s operating system: Windows.

The Halkyon patch will be delivered gradually over the next 6 weeks, containing re-mapping code that converts useless Google queries into meaningful, effective Microsoft Bing results.

In a nutshell: you start at Google, you end up at Bing.

Simple as that. No more crappy results from Google that effectively turn visitors into penny-pinching hobos.

The Halkyon patch delivers its own portion of controversy though, as it will be the first commercial patch – meaning, users will have to spend $0.99 to install in order to get clean, meaningful search results from Bing.

It does come with a 5 day money back guarantee though.


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Comments

6 Responses to “Microsoft launches Anti-Panda tool to target Google”
  1. Uzoma says:

    Is this 100%?

    I think it should be.

  2. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    Uzoma – Alas…we can only hope 😀

  3. BullS says:

    It is true…

    Sources say they are working on it and it should be out next April 1

  4. Lucius "Guns" Fabrice says:

    BullS – Incorrect, it will be released on March 32nd most likely.

  5. Uzoma says:

    lol @ March 32nd

  6. Nice story – what about good sites that lost ranking/traffic.

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