Mr. Lowballer : Let’s all sue ICANNT!

Hey guys, what’s up? Hope you had lots of bird this Thanksgiving. Mr. Lowballer is full of turkey goodness until Christmas.

Anyway, I am about to sue ICANNT and so should you. It’s a real bummer but someone’s got to do it. I’m lawyering up and in 2020 the big guns come out, shooting left and right. I’m in touch with CNN, Vice, The Atlantic, and GQ for some sensational coverage about ethos it’s a Greek word.

Why would I sue these ICANNT folks you may ask. They are just silly bureaucrats deciding on which obscure land to party on. Just because .ORG got sold to a fresh company with money?

First off, let me tell you, that I support non-profits. They scrounge up money from people’s goodwill, and it all goes to a good cause, right? At least 5% of it does, often at best.

And now for the real kicker: Imagine if .ORG domains went to $50 dollars a year. These poor non-profit companies would all starve to death!

Bah humbug.

ICANNT parties are the best

How is it possible that you pay $80 bucks a month on a stupid Verizon plan and believe a domain should cost $10 dollars, when you’re a company making money, PARTICULARLY from your non-profit status?

So I don’t think that any of these non-profits holding onto a .ORG domain or two would suffer at all if prices went up. I’m telling you this, and I’m a serial lowballer! I want cheap shit. But I use my brain on occasion.

Who would suck the big fat stick? Investment companies that registered thousands of .ORG domains for profit. Domain investors that can’t move .ORG domains fast enough. Yeah, that’s gotta sting a bit.

But think about it for a second. If you believe Verisign isn’t going to raise prices for .COM domains in the very near future, to levels unseen since the late 90s, you belong in a Disney movie my friends.

I just might sue ICANNT still, because it sounds satisfying to say the word “sue.” After all, at ICANNT parties you get to meet educated, international chicks and partake in the best shrimp and steak buffet at their conferences – what do we plebes get?

Nothing, when we whine instead of popping a bottle of wine.


But seriously now. Focus on the BLOODFEST that will be raining down from the dot .COM factory soon, because that’s a real thing to worry about. It will change the entire domain investment field as we know it. Diversify your investments. Embrace domain development and even gTLDs. Create value by building content and turning domains into self-sustained businesses.

Should you worry about dot .ORG pricing? Not so much. The non-profits will do just fine.

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