WalMart – the grocery super giant that many despise – won’t be applying for its own gTLD any time soon.
“We are reviewing our strategy for 2014 and beyond, and have come to an agreement with the People’s Republic of China to lease full rights to dot .CN for the next 99 years”, said WalMart PR specialist and greeter, Paul McDonald.
“It is a matter of pure economics: why pay more to suppliers, when we can operate our own country? Welcome to WalMart, have a nice day!” exclaimed McDonald.
Welcome to WalMart.
Shocking as it might seem, the acquisition of rights to the Dot .CN by WalMart will help resolve years of heated disputes over the quality of groceries and toys carried by WalMart; most of it is made in China, by Chinese workers that are being paid Chinese wages.
WalMart wants to change all that.
“We are about to shift the paradigm of business globalization, and will raise the minimum wages of our Chinese workers to US standards – that won’t be more than a buck or two, thanks to the Obama administration” said Paul McDonald.
By saving $185,000 in ICANN fees, WalMart plans to re-invest its savings to rolling back prices; most brands of dog food will be discounted by 10 cents, while pizza will be lowered by a whopping 24 cents a pie.
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