The truth is out there: How Credit.Club didn’t sell for $200,000 dollars

Directnic

CREDIT-CLUB

Bruce Marler was visibly excited about the biggest gathering of domainers, that was about to put TRAFFIC to shame.

“Tiffany, get your luggage ready, we’re going to NamesCon.”

Tiffany put her beer down, another empty bottle in a row of four, next to an empty box of Kobayashi sushi. It was getting chilly in Missouri, and the prospect of flying to Las Vegas for NamesCon on such a short notice was stressing her out.

“I’m so damn tired of flying, can they not bring NamesCon to Farmington – what’s the big deal with that?” said Tiffany, packing her suitcase. “I can only fit six pairs of high heel shoes in this bag, and just one very short dress!” she exclaimed.

Bruce rolled his eyes.

Two hours later, they were on a plane to Vegas, seated next to an overweight septuagenarian whose right hand was twitching from the prospect of gambling.

At landing time, they were greeted by Jeff Sass, high ranking executive for the dot .CLUB Registry. This was the equivalent of meeting Steve Ballmer during his Microsoft heyday.

“Hey Bruce, Tiffany, nice to meet you guys finally,” said Sass. “You’re staying at my presidential suite at MGM, we have things to talk about,” said Sass with a wink.

At dinner time, the 6ft 4″ dot .CLUB executive offered them cigars. It was time to break the news in a relaxing manner.

“Bruce, you know I like your presentations about rapid WordPress development, but I have something that will challenge you,” said Sass.

Leaning forward, Sass whispered:

“We have a situation with a premium .CLUB domain valued at $200,000 and want to promote it a little bit, if you catch my drift.”

Tiffany played with her hair, the blue streaks shimmering in the low light of the Francesco Capitano restaurant. Those tapas, the wine and a Cuban cigar were getting at her fast.

“Listen Jeff, I will do it. Give me access to the back end of the .CLUB Registry, and I can log in with the root password so that noone will notice,” said Bruce. “When your boys run the security audit, it’ll appear to have been you guys.”

Jeff Sass hissed out, a strange, echoing sound that ended abruptly.

“That’s fucking brilliant Bruce, man I love you guys,” exclaimed Sass, standing up to give Bruce a bear hug.

Crushed for a few milliseconds by the gigantic man’s embrace, Bruce smiled.

That night, Bruce rolled in bed unable to sleep. He was thinking about the big day that’d follow.

In the morning they had breakfast in bed.

Tiffany ate a single canape topped with Beluga caviar and aromatic herbs. Bruce downed three scrambled eggs, bacon, prosciutto and a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice.

“We have to do it, Tiffany, I’m going to log into the .CLUB registry and access the secret registration account. It will make it show as if the domain Credit.Club were hand-registered, when in fact they handed it to me.

This baby is worth at least $200,000 and we could pay off the mortgage and move to the Florida Keys to live, that’d be awesome!”

Bruce tapped away, accessing the special account “ROOT_JS_hax0rz”, created by Jeff Sass in order to tap into the Registry’s back end.

Routing the connection via China, Vietnam, Hong Kong, East Los Angeles and then Las Vegas, the expertly educated Bruce managed to log in.

“My twelve times of watching The Matrix didn’t go to waste!” said Bruce, accessing the .CLUB Registry Xtreme files repository that contained domain records.

In seconds, he had secured the domain Credit.Club and had printed an invoice for just $10.99.

He picked up his Samsung Galaxy S5 and texted Jeff Sass:

“The chicken is in the coop. BM.”

The response that came back was quite strange: “Who is this?”

Bruce froze. That made no sense. He double-checked the number, it belonged to the .CLUB executive.

“It’s Bruce. The domain registration is complete.”

Yet another response made him feel even more puzzled: “I don’t know who you are or what you are talking about. Goodbye.”

Bruce felt the blood rush off his head and down to his toes. It made no sense. Jeff was such a nice guy, why would he talk to him like that?

Tiffany took her glasses off and took Bruce’s hand in hers.

“Baby, I will support you all the way, you know that. If they deny any knowledge, I know the truth is out there. We did it together, we’re in this great plan together. Who cares about them?”

Bruce breathed heavily.

So that’s what it was, Jeff and the .CLUB Registry had already started the game of denial, so that noone would ever find out the truth that was out there.

Brilliant. He finally relaxed, and smiled at his wife.

“Tiffany, I love you baby. This is awesome. Ah, someone is knocking at the door, it must be the gourmet chocolate pie I ordered to celebrate our success.”

As Bruce opened the door, a bright green flash delivered a high pitched noise that made his head vibrate like a cowbell that was hit with Thor’s hammer.

Before he passed out, the last thing he saw was the gigantic figure of Jeff Sass standing above him, removing what appeared to be a human mask, revealing two dark, ominous, almond shaped eyes and the scaly face of a serpent that was reported many times before in Area 51 sightings.

“Commmmme withhhhh ussssss”.

Then everything turned black.


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Comments

5 Responses to “The truth is out there: How Credit.Club didn’t sell for $200,000 dollars”
  1. DDavies says:

    Thanks for the laughs! Those that don’t want to believe what happened, as you explained in the other article, might as well get the X-Files story. Brilliant!

  2. Bruce Marler says:

    I really wish people could of heard Tiffany and I laughing, our home offices are across the first floor from each other and all I could hear was, hahahah, oh my god, hahahaha, oh my god. So funny.

  3. Jeff Sass says:

    Twentieth Century Fox wants to option both the movie and podcast rights. We need to talk…

  4. Bruce Marler says:

    Jeff, I really want to be able to pick who plays me:)

  5. DomainGang says:

    DDavies – What do you mean, other article? This, here, my friend, is the TRUTH.

    Bruce – Nothing to laugh about, and I hear ‘anal probing’ is part of the standard procedure when captured in Area 51.

    Jeff – As long as you don’t return my texts with “Who is this?”

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